Pare Me

Pare Me

A Poem by Cee. Es.

Pare me 
Little by little 
As I give myself away 
Piece by piece 
Till I find myself gone 
And I'll let you remake me 
Once again in that image you desire 
To begin picking at my parts 
Obscuring my aberration
Imperfections filed down
Till I am raw and bare once again 
Showing nothing but irreversible scars 

© 2011 Cee. Es.


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Alicia, I noticed the contrasting themes going on too but i really wanted it that way.
When you go about removing things from something in the attempt to make it perfect you leave scars. At least thats how i saw it. Sorry if its confusing, i guess its more poetry for myself

Posted 13 Years Ago


A very interesting poem. I liked the emotions behind it, and the story definitely intrigued me. There's some contrasting here that confuses me a little, though. Towards the middle you suggested that the person here is being forced into some else's idea of perfection, but in the last line, you talked about scars. I believe that it should be scars that are invisible to whoever created them, and not just irreversible scars. Another thing, is that you should add punctuation to some of the lines, which, though the flow is already very good, will help to direct readers to pause at the right places.

With all that said, this piece is really interesting… The painting that you painted in my mind is a haunted, beautiful one. I would definitely love to see it elaborated upon a bit more. Wonderful job!

Posted 13 Years Ago



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176 Views
2 Reviews
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on December 18, 2010
Last Updated on January 26, 2011

Author

Cee. Es.
Cee. Es.

Like im going to tell you that, CA



About
18 terrible with decisions expert at entertaining me and turning off my brain amateur everything else try to be my best when i remember more..

Writing
Self Pity Self Pity

A Poem by Cee. Es.