Originally Unoriginal

Originally Unoriginal

A Story by Christoph Poe

The severed nubs of limbs tapped at the squares of glass. The glass rested in an unmistakable tomb above a yellow dresser top, squealing in the grip of the weathered window pane as nature continued a beating from the outside. Of course, only the dresser's surface was yellow; I knew beneath the cracking paint it's innards were a solid wood bearing a disgusting hue of wood. The window acted as its mirror--an immovable mirror occasionally hid by a sheath of white, though only occasionally--and only the mirror saw the dresser's surface. Occasionally, I peered in the mirror.

The roots of a fully grown willow tree rested twelve feet below my window. I screamed when my father told me he'd be cutting the limbs back so they would not damage the house. The nubs occasionally bumped the glass panes instead of the subtle scraping they had done before. I was quite alright a few days after they were cut, but before, a damp pillow and messy bed was my distraught resting place.

My father called it a psychosis that ran through my head, and maybe at the age of twenty, it really was more of a disorder. The living things that surrounded me yet never moved became my reason for breathing.

© 2013 Christoph Poe


Author's Note

Christoph Poe
I'm doing some exercises with short stories. I haven't written a good one in quite a while, so I'm forcing myself to sit down and write a few. This is my opening at the current time. I have an idea where I'm going, and though there's not much character depth here, I'm just looking to hear if this is a decent opening.

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This can be the starting point of a great story or even book.

Posted 7 Years Ago


I think it's a decent opening indeed. There is only one thing I don't think fits: the mechanics of the tree actually bumping the window. How can it reach the window as "nubs" when it was just scraping before? I hate to point that out because I do love the image of it.
As for character depth, this is extremely short so it's basically impossible to have a super developed character; however, you seem to have developed this one to the fullest extent allowed by the length.
Also. Using the "by the age of twenty" instead of "at the age of twenty" would convey your message a little more clearly in my opinion, but that's just a little thing.
Overall, this has the potential to be either literary or horror or romance or really anything you make of it. I like the character, and I would love to hear more. Great job!

Posted 7 Years Ago


I was interested in it and I'm so ADD I drift off reading Haiku's. Good job.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Christoph Poe

7 Years Ago

Thanks man!
Christoph Poe

7 Years Ago

I literally updated it just a few minutes ago too. Lol
A fascinating start, Chris. It`s a difficult image to fathom, but one that intrigues. One wonders where you are geographically to actually look in he mirror...and who and what you are. P.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Christoph Poe

7 Years Ago

Thanks for reading! It's needing work, but I'm liking how the story is unfolding. (Well, I like the .. read more

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Added on April 30, 2013
Last Updated on May 4, 2013
Tags: Yellow dresser sun nature openin

Author

Christoph Poe
Christoph Poe

Tuscaloosa, AL



About
Laughing might be my weakness, but my humor is the only characteristic that drives my positivity in this damned world. I'm a bit blunt at times, but always respectful >>and to be blunt, I expect respe.. more..

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