Daybreak

Daybreak

A Poem by Gathering_Stars

Sunscapes flatten pine wood forests;
Fire rips through dark silhouettes and tears them


Down.

At night they creep back up to the front lines--
The moon's eye stands guard with a stead-fast heart
And ever watchful presence, slow to action
But sure of every movement it makes.

They march to lines and stand at attention
Faltering not until they can stand no more.

© 2009 Gathering_Stars


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Reviews

This is cool... very good imagery... last two lines are a bit ambiguous - but that's not at all a bad thing. It's cool, open-ended I guess. Very nice little portrait ;)

Posted 11 Years Ago


I am loving this poem. Really.....But for some reason that I can't put my finger on, two lines seems to read a little rough in an otherwise beautiful piece. Like I said, I'm not sure why, (and I am as constructive as constructive and honesty can be) these lines don't flow like the rest of the piece. Maybe it's just me. Let me re-read it again.

And ever watchful presence, slow to action
But sure of every movement it makes.

Nope. Still there. Wonderful idea though, and like the other reviewers.....I enjoyed the read.

Mark

Posted 11 Years Ago


beautifully written, thank you for sharing it :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


This is a very good poem. I liked the eastern thought in it.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really love the way you chose to format this poem. It fit the rhythm perfectly, and helped me get into the poem as I read it. Beautiful words.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on March 10, 2009

Author

Gathering_Stars
Gathering_Stars

Shooting Star



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I'm pretty sure that vampires, Harry Potter, and Albert Einstein live in a parallel universe. Actually I think that Albert Einstein somehow mis-haped himself into ours by some freak accident; althoug.. more..

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