"Am I wrong?"

This is my first post! I wrote this last night while I was fairly intoxicated. Please let me know what you think!

When the autumn leaves fall and summer's fiery passion fade am I wrong?

When November greets me again, with her warm chill and frozen kiss  am I wrong?

When broken is so easily fixed, and distance is always what lies between us am I wrong?

to dream of a feeling that lasts until my final breath.

A feeling that wont elude, or flicker, or fade away.

Am I wrong?

to stray from your soft light, and derail your generous trust.

to wonder the future?

to wonder the world and its bountiful oceans?

am I wrong?

I have grown selfish and tired of your warm heart, and by doing so, I have paralyzed myself with doubt.

Author's Note

howdy howdy howdy.

Reviews

[Matt Sayer]

Wow, when I'm drunk I can barely type, let alone coherently!

Your poem speaks of indecision, of dreaming of greener grasses and the guilt inherent in such contemplation. Total, unwavering faith is a virtue few of us can truthfully claim, and I for one will admit that doubt is never far from my mind, irrespective of the subject. Unflinching faith treads dangerously close to blind obedience, and that is not healthy for anyone.

Excellent poem. Keep up the great work!

[Ceej]

Thank you so much your in depth analysis and constructive criticism! I just stumbled upon this website today, and it's still so strange to me to have someone actually take the time to think about my work. Thanks again for the kind words man, I'll check out some of your stuff and let you know what I think!

[Matt Sayer]

Not a problem! I'm a recent addition to the site too, and I'm trying to offer whatever little help I can through feedback, because I know how helpful and heartening it can be when someone does the same for me :)

[sonnie ibadah]

"When broken is so easily fixed, and distance is always what lies between us am I wrong?
to dream of a feeling that lasts until my final breath.".... that's a very touching line, i love it.

[Coyote Poetry]

"to wonder the future?
to wonder the world and its bountiful oceans?
am I wrong?"
Doubt is a part of us. I believe most of us question our place and where we need to be. I like the questions above. I asked similar questions often. Thank you for the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Rob Santana]

hahaha, I'm drunk reading this!! well done!!!!! half of my s**t i write is when im drunk!!! pen on!!!

[Ceej]

Thanks man, I appreciate the comment! I'll be sure to check out some of your stuff and drop a line.