This Is How I Watch My Leaves Fall

I'm finally coming of age
It seems my mind and body are like the seasons
Vernal and free in the beginning, 
Seemingly ageless 
And shedding their leaves by the time they thought they'd bloom
It's funny how things play out perfectly
From watching the sunsets that I so despise
To that bitter tune playing on the car radio
The things you turn away from, 
I guess you make peace with them before it's over with. 
How is it that the joys of youth
Bring with them the awareness of mortality?
This is how I watch my leaves fall
How they dance around in the wind
Floating, glimmering like embers in the last light of the day
Like a final ballad or a willful shot in the dark
Before they touch the ground. 
They are faces of those I love
Wandering away from this solitude
From a back patio scented with cigarette fumes
To anywhere left to be charted on a map
And my branches cannot catch their fall
My roots can't take me to where they are
I am ingrained where I am
And no Nor-easterly storms can uproot my hold
No shift in fault lines can break my grasp
I just stand and watch them go
And I know Winter is on the way
So before I wither and go to sleep
I change my atmosphere on things
My windows are rolled down 
The sun is always in my eyes
I count the stars each waking night
And try to remember all the insight
I simply want to take in everything
Before my body starts to die 
This is the world I see revolve
As I do my best to stand up tall
I'll never know anything at all 
Except the way my leaves fall