The Crash (Poem)

The glass leaves his grasp, shattering across the kitchen floor;

the wife freezes, teeth squeezing thin lips;

The young boy drops his jaw, bruised eyes darting to the door;

The husband sighs, pushes back his chair, his hands on hips.

 

With familiar motions, the man removes his belt.

The woman buries her face in scarred hands;

The boy's hands cover his face, hiding yesterday's welt;

The husband closes the distance, conjuring plans.

 

His belt whips forward, the crack like lightning.

The boy's cries ring out, piercing the night.

Crack! Crack! Crack! for eternity the blows keep heightening.

Waves of defeat roll off the boy, mingling with his fright.

Author's Note

This is kind of a dark and unpleasant topic, I realize. Tell me what you think. Advice and thoughts are welcome, as always.

Reviews

[AE]

I like how this is a story, but it still has a rhyming scheme. It's interesting how in the first stanza, you know the kid slipped up, broke the glass, oops. Then in the second stanza, you start to get cautious and worried and you can feel the fear start to creep up on you. Then it sucked (not the poem, because I really like the poem). I didn't expect for it to be like that. I actually winced because I've felt the crack of a belt before and the immediate fear when you see it, then that lingering feeling afterword when you walk off feeling defeated.

[Jacob Clifford]

Thank you so much! That's exactly what I was going for: that creeping fear. That's a good point you made about that feeling of defeat. I may have to make some modifications and incorporate that. Thanks for reading!

[jessicawrites]

You mix words really well! I hope I can be like you

[Jacob Clifford]

Thanks for reading. Don't shoot to be like me. You can do better.

[richieb]

Domestic violence is deep and the emotional scars outweigh the physical. I grew up with a violent alcoholic parent so this hits home. The anticipation of the pain is as bad as the action. In your poem the verse "bloody heap" might be changed, otherwise a very accurate scenario. Richie.

[Jacob Clifford]

Thanks, as always, for reviewing. I'm also not a huge fan of that final line. I'll try to get around to looking at it later.

[Mr. Hamilton]

It is dark and gross. Knock it off.

[Jacob Clifford]

Ah, very direct review. Thanks for reading.

[Mr. Hamilton]

.........................:)

[.]

Damn. You were right. This is a very dark piece of writing.

This is very strong and resonates quite deeply within me. The cracks of that belt are only to familiar.
A very deep portrayal of trouble and punishment in the family home.

Again, well written as ever, Clifford.

[Jacob Clifford]

Sadly, the cracking of belts is all too familiar with many people. They say to write about what you know, right? Thank you, as always, for reading.