I left before you

I left before you

A Poem by Clyde du Coeur
"

Realism in AABB.

"
I left before you (my love) tonight
Lady pains and fatigue out to spite
my aching body so rough and tumble tender
No doubt I enjoyed my evening of splendour.

The men who missed the tube at Piccadilly Circus will ride the same train as you I suspect
About twenty minutes behind me, give or take a sec,
They will witness your beauty, your personality so fine;
in awe of your presence a little further down the line.

I wonder if you will pause when you stop at Turnham Green:
Imagine me, a spring in my step as I hurry home to dream
about you /
About how much I want to be with you
Despite the obstacles, consequences and circumstances too.

Maybe next time will be better, should I cross my fingers?
I'll take a mental photo, record your voice and let reality linger
As it digresses into fantasy where all ends greet,
"Meet me at midnight,
Signed, your petite". x

© 2014 Clyde du Coeur


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Featured Review

Love it! I'm a Jubilee Line victim myself, London Bridge to Canary Wharf. But I love way you weave the fabric of the sit-ee into your take of love and life. i think the city is a part of us and we of it. The tube is like the city's circulatory system with us the blood racing arount it or not as the case may be when it clots up. I like verse two the best. Can see the dudes standing on the plaftorm and see you rattling away thinking your 'what ifs'.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Enjambment++

Love the last three lines, although sometimes it felt like you'd chosen words to make the rhyme work, rather than because they conveyed what you wanted to say.

You should have a play with poetry of meter; the patter and mouth-feel of words, rather than their sounds.

Posted 9 Years Ago


Loved it. beautifully written.

Posted 10 Years Ago


I liked this piece, specially the closing lines - they concluded the entire piece so perfectly.
Great work.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hahah ,, yes you have your style :) .... love this one too , Yossi

Posted 10 Years Ago


i read this and the first thing i thought was..Story of my Life...well written.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Certainly sounds like star crossed lovers... your words are very bold, some fabulous writing.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Love it! I'm a Jubilee Line victim myself, London Bridge to Canary Wharf. But I love way you weave the fabric of the sit-ee into your take of love and life. i think the city is a part of us and we of it. The tube is like the city's circulatory system with us the blood racing arount it or not as the case may be when it clots up. I like verse two the best. Can see the dudes standing on the plaftorm and see you rattling away thinking your 'what ifs'.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You paint a scene so well, and one I can certainly relate to.
Job well done my darling :D

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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482 Views
8 Reviews
Rating
Added on February 24, 2010
Last Updated on November 16, 2014
Tags: left, before, you, love, romanctic, special, poem, poetic, i

Author

Clyde du Coeur
Clyde du Coeur

United Kingdom



About
I love writing poetry, songs and stories. I like living life because events invite me to review them in a poetic way. I've always loved creative subjects like music, creative writing, photography, dra.. more..

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