What the Moon Saw

Imagine being up in the inky sky, looking down on the life below. Imagine the wondering, watching, waiting...

           I've never liked graveyards. Some people associate them with flowers and like to go there during the day to reflect, be alone and enjoy the silence. They may sometimes bring a book with them, if it is particularly good. Well, not me. I am one of those stereo typical types who haven't yet demolished the link between death and Halloween. I know that death is a natural process, but that doesn't mean I'm not scared. I hate knowing that I could be walking over someone; disturbing their rest. As I opened the big, black gates with the intimidating spikes on top, my fingers were trembling. It was cold, but I knew that wasn't the real reason I was shivering.

          It was a late November night, and the full moon was staring down on me as if it had never seen a 15 year old girl before. It could tell I was frightened, and kept deliberately creating silhouettes and shadows of things which weren't really there. The sky was like a black blanket, trapping me and keeping me prisoner.

             Each tombstone stood tall and proud, sneering at me whenever I turned my back. There were lots of trees around the outside of the graveyard, and they were all either leafless and going for the 'struck by lightening' look, or incredibly large and able to squash me in the unlikely event one or all of them should fall. Usually I can rely on the stars to push their way past the clouds and guide me through the darkness, as I live in the heart of the countryside, which also explained my need to wear the trainers I wear for sports at school. Peeling my foot from the squelching mud beneath me, I cursed under my breath. Not tonight, I thought to my self. The one night in a couple of years pursuing an impeccably starless atmosphere. Ignoring the voices in my head screaming at me to go home, I did the opposite: I carried on.

          The visit wasn't exactly like I had imagined. I had imagined owls twooting and hooting from a distant forest, and the possibility of rats scurrying past me unexpectedly. There was nothing. If possible, that made things all the worse. It was one of those moments where the silence seemed so unbearably loud, and I begged all the creatures lurking in bushes to make some noise. Any noise. It was as if everything was waiting, ready to explode or make a really giant sound, like the tense moment when you can hear the footsteps to someone arriving at their surprise birthday party. I decided that I would never like to be thrown a surprise birthday party. For my party I usually do one of a few things: go to the cinema, go out for a meal, have friends sleep over, or take a few special friends to the city for the weekend or something. No variation. No change.

          No secrets.

          Loosing my train of thought, I shook my head tried to focus on my mission. My eyes caught sight of a figure standing by the back of the fence, and before I could stop my mouth, it let out a huge gasp. This was the type of gasp you do just before you start a 'Who can hold their breath for the longest?' competition. I shut my eyes and opened them again, but when I looked back, the figure had disappeared. For a moment, I felt unable to tear my eyes away from the spot he had been standing in, but once I did I felt silly for getting so worked up; convincing myself it had just been the mist. If only I'd known at the time.

          If only I'd known who it really was.

          A deep, male voice prepared to swear, then thought better of itself and simply mouthed its curse as a compromise. Between two large oak trees by the black fence, a middle aged man was stood. He was watching over a girl. He was being paid an awful lot of money to watch this girl. And it was, he thought, truly awful. And now, he thought to himself, he had gone and got himself seen. All he had to do was to watch her with out her noticing, and he had messed up already. And she had only just arrived. His stubble had been growing a little to long recently, and his voice had got that little bit scratchier. What was happening to him? Was it the guilt? He couldn't bare it. What they were planning for her was...well, awful. She seemed nice; she had large white trainers and kept looking up at the sky. She looked scared. Really scared. With a pained expression on his face, the man continued to watch her. That was all he had to do.

          I never knew what people were talking about when they said they had that feeling they were being watched until that moment. I heard a twig being stepped on and snapping in two, and I straightened up like a dog does when a whistle is blown. Was there someone there? I quickly checked behind me to see if I was being followed, but I couldn't see anyone. By now, I was panting. The sounds of my heart beating twice as fast as usual and my breath creating steam in the frosty air were the only sounds I could hear. I leaned on one of the tombstones whilst I deliberated whether or not to continuing. I was surprised at how cold it was. I wasn't expecting the stone to be warm, but instead it was so frozen an arrow of pain shot up my fingers. I tore my hand away and rubbed it against my other to keep them warm. I could feel my teeth chattering away like friends on the phone. I felt like I had been here forever, when really only a few minutes had passed. I carried on walking, and passed a statue. I couldn't see it very clearly as it was so dark and I had stupidly forgotten my flashlight. I could see it was a woman. She had a beautifully carved face with very long hair. I imagined that if she weren't made of marble, her hair would be bouncy and wavy and shiny, just like the adverts you see on the TV for shampoo. I traced my finger across her cheek, right down to her neck. I then noticed her hands, which were entwined around something. A piece of paper.

          As I read this piece of paper, my eyes widened. My mouth formed the shape of an 'o' and my bottom lip trembled uncontrollably. It was a letter. Addressed to me. It contained information. Information which was top secret and the reason I am still alive now. It told me where something was hidden, something very very special. Something which I had been searching for my whole life, and which I was sure was in this graveyard. Without saying a word, I turned away to run home; finding a use for my sporty trainers. I kept the letter safe in my pocket and planned to never show it to anyone.

          Ever.

          He watched her run away and despite himself, was pleased. He knew what the letter said, and he had hoped she would find it. This placed him in a lot of trouble, though it wasn't his fault things had turned out the way they had. He had done his job; he had watched. He just couldn't watch her get killed.

          It was a late November night, and the full moon was staring down on the world as if it had just watched a man save a life. A few stars had pushed their way past the clouds just in time to guide her home through the darkness, and no one would ever even know she had left. The trees remained still and promised to keep their secret from the rest of the world, even the scary ones who were going for the 'struck by lightening' look. It was as if nothing had happened.

          All though so much had.

Reviews

[Wolfwind]

Having been one to go to graveyards in my youth, just to see if I would see anything, this piece caught my attention. The opening 1/3 was wonderful. It really drew me into the story. When it switched over to the males point of view in the middle, I thought that transition was a bit rough. I would've like to have seen a bit more description at that point and the pace slowed down a bit. I think that would have increased the feeling of anxiety.
The ending part of the story was done well, but I felt like someone had fast forwarded through the movie and dumped me out in the last 5 minutes and there was 30 that were missing.
While we don't really find out much about the characters, it doesn't detract from the overall scene. I think the piece could certainly be expanded and be made into a really good mystery.

The piece made me ask alot of questions as I went along... such as what has led the girl to the graveyard in the first place? Whose grave was she going to go see? Why at night?

My favorite part was the description of the shoe getting stuck in the mud! I've had that happen and know the sound. I could just see the look on the girls face at that moment. Nicely worded!

I'm left wondering what the letter was and who was paying the man to watch the girl.

Overall you've crafted a piece that seems to be made of three scenes that go together, but other scenes are missing to create an entire story. If you ever add to this one, I'd love to see how it goes.

Thanks for sharing your Ink!
Aaron - Wolfwind

[Viccy Rogers]

Thanks so much for the detailed review! This was actually written a few years ago but I thought I'd post anyway:) I'll take the advice on board, I agree there is a lot unanswered!