the sunset keeper

my poem for the "title a week" group.

i see you,
sunset keeper--
the fickle moon blade
inches from your lovely throat.
sweating tears
and bleeding rain,
i guess you feel
like god's favorite w***e.

i can help you.

love me,
sunset keeper,
and i'll show you a sunrise.

Author's Note

This one's really abstract. I just took things that sounded nice and put them together. There's no meaning behind it.

Reviews

[blakjassy]

sometimes just letting the creative flow take you wherever it may works so well! I like that you didnt go on and on... sometimes less is more, especially when being abstract!

[Helena]

It may be abstract, but it worked. There were some wonderful descriptive little stanza's in this write. Good job!

[Miss Fox]

"i guess you feel
like god's favorite w***e."

What piercing line that attacks the ego and self-esteem of the 'sunset keeper'
Although you may have put no meaning behind it, I'm sure many people will find it heavy with depth.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

drops of word pearls~ gorgeous array~ well placed reactive composition~

[Cricket Kidd]

interesting...

[Proletariat Uprising]

I don't see how a d***o would be offensive to Him. I think He has bigger things to worry about than some kid asserting that He uses sex toys. Just saying.

Anyways, your poetry is always way too deep for me to get, so I guess it's good.

100

[disconnectedspirit]

i think the d***o part is offensive to God...I would remove it...I rate it a zero for now because of that bm