On Account of a Stranger

A black-hearted man is shown before he kills.

Dirt showers from his earth-drunk boots as he steps onto the welcome mat of a sleeping ranch house. He stands, staring at the wooden front door. The stars and the moon sing their celestial chorus.

The night bleeds.

He's here on account of a stranger. Meditated whispers in the moonlight told him a faceless man had taken his name in vain. This man will not live to see tomorrow.

He sighs like a pneumonia-stricken Beelzebub. The summer air rolls out in a fog from his frozen lungs and sanitizes the darkness.

In a tree above him, a crow moans the ballad of a would-be lover.

More than one heart will be broken tonight.

He raises his hand of rotted granite and grasps the door handle. It's locked (and dead-bolted), but with his slightest touch the tumblers rearrange themselves. The door swings open.

A mud-caked boot swings itself over the door frame. The termites burrowed inside sizzle and rot.

His boot heel hits the floor without a sound. A blackly jubilant smile snakes its way across his moon-scarred face.

In a room down the hall, the family dog dies in its sleep.

He melts past the children's room, past the bathroom, and stops in front of the stranger's bedroom door. His hand emerges from a black trench coat sleeve, the nail on the index finger grown a foot long. Sharpened. Blood-stained.

He listens to the syncopation of the stranger's sleeping heart.

Outside, the crow drops dead from its branch.

The night will never stop bleeding.

Author's Note

A creepy one. I guess this is my inner Stephen King rearing its ugly head again. When I was about twelve, I was hugely influenced by King, and wrote countless horror/suspense stories. It feels good to get back to my roots.

Reviews

[Miss Fox]

Even with the creepy, inhuman and monstrous characteristics, I can't help but feel that he has human faults and emotions.
And I think he's God. A very, very creepy display of God. And that's really, for lack of a better word, awesome.
A truly goose-bump-inspiring story.

[Jazique]

Grammar and punctuations are a flawless and nicely done with your short story for Stephen King would be proud and its great every now and then to let the creepy writing to rear their heads every now and then. Your descriptions were priceless and words were beautiful in a sense. You did an excellent job using your creative mind all and all. Keep up the marvelous writings.

[Robert Kahil]

This is inspired by King? He'll be proud. I agree with Miss Fox about the character's God-like qualities. Extraordinarily creepy. Brilliant last line.

[Stripes]

This is amazing. Definitely like the inner King appearing. I love the metaphors(similes?) through out. Keep it up :)

[Brendan]

Really great descriptive writing. Some great creative adjectives you've made here. My personal favorites being "moon-scarred" and "earth-drunk". I really enjoyed the read, gave me goosebumps.

[Mika Haruna]

very creepy, but this story pains a wonderful picture, i love your use of personification. a really great story.

[snopadelic]

I like it, edgar allen poe springs to mind, i especally like the last line