Sullen Girl

tired of people offering unsolicited cliched advice that they seem programmed like a robot to dispense

 

Please don’t tell me to be careful

Don’t tell me, “He has to help himself”

“They have to hit rock bottom”

“I just don’t want you to get hurt”

 

Please don’t feed me all those clichés, like

“You have to love yourself before someone else can love you”

“You don’t need anyone”
“You can’t look for love, it will find you” and in the same breath say

“Have you tried Match.com?”

 

Please don’t lecture me on how to live

When you haven’t been privy to my enlightened path

 

I am pensive.

I am numb.

I am exuberant.

I am anything but dumb.

 

Who there has seen a knife pierce an abdomen, and

blood running like Kool-Aid from a punctured vessel?

There is no sippy cup to keep these images tidy in my mind.

 

Who there has seen a man hooked up to life support, waiting

for the organs to be donated because the brain is already dead?

Vietnam permeated his mind before the bullet did.

 

Have you survived a war, any kind of war?

 

Who there has had veins exploding from the inside out

Needles poking, tubes protruding, and organs failing?

I am a Frankenstein experiment.

 

It doesn’t seem plausible that I’m alive.

 

I am alive.

I am melancholy.

I am quixotic.

Maybe I am agnostic.

 

Maybe not.

 

I have watched and listened to people and animals die since I was 6 years old.

I have come excruciatingly close to death twice, and have had countless life threatening experiences.

I continue to dream.

I aspire to do great things.

I love innocently and unconditionally.

I cry when birds sing.

 

Ask yourself if you are capable of loving as I love?

Ask yourself, “What is wrong with wanting to help another?”

“What is wrong with wanting to be held?”

 

What an impossibly dismal existence this would be if no one worked cooperatively with others. 

 

AA would not exist

if someone didn’t feel as though they wanted to help someone recover from their dependency. 

Hospitals would not exist

if someone didn’t feel like they wanted to help cure someone with an illness. 

The National Organization for Women would not exist

if someone didn’t want to help enforce rights for women

 

Numerous organizations exist because people want to provide resources and comfort to those in need.

 

Ask yourself….

Why do you try to find fault when someone is trying to do something good?

Why do you concentrate on the negative aspects of a scenario rather than the positive?

Is it easier for you to criticize than to compliment?

Can you only give of your time and love when the favor is returned to you?

Do you cease to care if this love is not reciprocated?

 

I don’t.

 

I care.

 

Deeply.

 

Please don’t speak to me of hurt.

 

I know hurt intimately…

It’s the sound of my mother’s last breath.

It’s the death of another woman I’ve befriended.

It’s my beloved pet convulsing in my arms.

It’s people and animals I don’t know who are contending with the insufferable.

 

Please don’t tell me to be careful.

 

I am humble.  I don’t shy away from uncomfortable situations, because

that is when someone usually needs support the most.

I don’t buy into that cliché about giving and receiving love, because

some people don’t love themselves enough to take care of themselves, and

they are still deserving of love from others. 

 

How does anyone ever know his or her true worth

if someone doesn’t take the time to focus on what is positive? 

Whether it’s me expressing to a man who has an alcohol addiction, “I believe you are a good person

who has been challenged by something that seems beyond your control, and

I am here to help you if you need me.” 

Or, a man expressing to me, “I believe in you and what you’re doing.”

 

 

THINK ABOUT IT.

 

 

I am sullen.

I am awakened.

I am conflict.

I am resolution.

 

I am Love.

Author's Note

Does this seem too lengthy for you? Do you lose interest part way through? Does it flow smooth enough for you? Were you moved? Did you find yourself questioning some of your own behaviors? I did.

Reviews

[Babe Roxx]

It amazes me when people tell me that this poem was long or it wasn't short enough, however, when you want to express your soul, it shouldn't be judged on how you express it, even when its lengthy....I found your poem to be Wonderful....I know what you mean, I heard it most of my life, like friends and family would tell me, "quit smoking cigarettes" and I was like "F" them in my mind, its my life, yet I knew they just cared about me, and I knew that was the addict in me talking...and now, I quit smoking. And for the most part quit drinking Alcohol...unless I know the world is ending tomorrow, a shot of whiskey won't hurt me lol. But Marijuana I will Never Quit!! NORML....Legalize it!!

[SleeplessVolcano]

Not too long, not too short....it said what had to be said! I like how you express your unhappiness with the superficial opinions of people......like a typical poet....becoming the conscience of society....

Great writing!

[Colette]

thank u so much for taking the time to read my poem and to comment! :) WRITE ON!

[GoldnBold]

Colette, this piece is so in tuned to the lives of so many people...people who don't even know how to express these types of feelings. This is an outstanding poem that needs to be heard...This is a definite!