Silence

A Story by Star Noble

Their silences were a peaceful sojourn. Some silences are an awkward road trip, driving its participants further and further away with each passing moment. This one was just silence. This one was just silence. Nothing, blank. No sounds, sights, thoughts. Nothing. She lied there, for the first time, in that kind of silence. I hated it. I couldn’t take it, any of it. I hated hospitals to begin with. But this time I had to deal with the one I treasure before anyone, the person I cared for deeper than anything, the woman I loved more than any of the intangibles, encaged in one. Held hostage to this hospital and to her silence.

On top of that, I had to look at her with her dead of feelings body not able to look back at me. I recalled her touch and the warm feeling it brought to my heart. My arm straightened, longing for a defrosting session of the organ that pumps blood through my veins. My finger tips trembled, followed by my arms. Soon my whole body couldn’t keep still no matter how hard I tried. It felt like there was nothing I could control about anything lately. I realized that the universe was a selfish and cruel place.

Warmth came across and the shaking melted away. The edges of her fingers had barely touched mine and it already felt like it used to. I became addicted, to the feel of her skin as if it was the closest thing to getting her out of her silence. It almost felt like we were communicating; I wanted more. My fingers weaved their way through hers, knitting a reflection of our love. This felt the best. I couldn’t understand how she was powerful enough to speak to me, tell me everything was okay, from such a powerless state. I admired her aptitude.

The surreal nature of it all only intensified as long as her hand kept hugging mine. She grew to become my lifeline, reassuring my every insecurity with her touch. I began to recite her song in my head. I wasn’t singing for too long before she joined me. We harmonized; her voice, like a choir of birds in unison. I felt myself sway and I recognized that my eyes had been closed. Soon, I heard something disturbing playing to the tune of our song. Her voice left when I realized it was my own humming. All of a sudden, confusion came over me and reality came to hit me in the head at the speed of light. An image of Flo and I walking through the forest flashed in my head, then blackness. Immediately, my eyes were reintroduced to the universe and my breathing was like heavy quick bounces of life. It was all happening too simultaneously, so an ill kind of rumbling started in my stomach. I felt terrified.

Pretty soon my heart was pounding, throbbing, and begging for my attention. I grew a bit dizzy right before something tickled the base of my index finger. I jolted back and busted out a yell. My eyes followed her hand then snapped up to her face. My gaze turned to slow motion, giving enough time for fear to keep filling my body. Her lips looked the same deep red they always appeared and were as closed as they’d ever been. My eyes traveled up the right side of her face, noticing her cheeks, completely numb. My journey continued with me looking further up her face. “Flo!” my cry exploded off my lips, further frightening my own self. It shocked me to my senses enough to realize that Flo was looking directly at me. There had to have been two centimeters of space between her top and bottom lid. I couldn’t believe it. My body couldn’t either and forced me to give her a loving embrace. “Oh Flo, I missed you so much, I know you probably can’t talk but I’ll try to get your ears to fall off. Oh my gosh, I just can’t believe this.”

The mood chose a fickle road to take; something was wrong. The feelings she was sending me died down and I was left alone. I pulled myself from away from her tranquilly and returned to her eyes once more. They were gone, inert as ever. I backed away and had to accept the reality that she had returned to her silence.