A Note in a Bottle Part II/The Man at the Bottom of The Sea

A Note in a Bottle Part II 

A Poem by Colton Warr

What's done is done

What's in the past is in the past

But thinking and missing you

Is something that I cannot get passed 

I shouldn't have said that 

It would haunt you to know 

I've been where you are 

When the sun sets you feel so alone 

I can see us losing blood 

Do you think that we are dead? 

Your answer means the world to me

Since that day, I have bled 

The waves crashed down upon me

Their whispers washing me away from you 

The weight of the sea was crushing

The darkness of the bottom, if only you knew

They say the sea vexes all men

Well perhaps that is the case

Would you like to know my vexing?  

Just a glimpse of your darling face 

 

The water was rushing in 

I had to abandon ship 

You may never forgive me 

That doesn't mean we still can't save it 

*****

The Man at the Bottom of The Sea 

A Poem by Colton Warr 

As my soul sinks to the darkest of depths 

My heart reaches out for you

Into my mind you have crept 

Entangling everything I once knew

As I look to the surface in hope 

My eyes see a shimmering sight

Into my abyss I go, how does one cope? 

You used to be my sizzling light 

There are sharks and all sorts of leviathans 

They encircle me as if welcoming me in 

The weight of my guilt matched along with the ocean 

It is at this moment that I wish to repent my sins 

Is this how it was always supposed to be? 

With all of these rocks and creatures, still I am lonely 

I am not dead but I cannot breathe 

I am The Man at the Bottom of The Sea 

 

Reviews

[dan]

Colton, The depth and scope of your imagery really brings this piece to life...then the emotional kick is delivered and we all realize how precious lives (and love) really is. Survivors' guilt is arguably one of the most potent types of grieving, the guilt weighing down rational thought and pushing the emotional aspect to the fore. This is such a great write, Colton, but I've come to expect nothing BUT the best from your pen. Thank you for sharing this with all of us! take care...dan

[Colton Warr]

Dan, I know I've told you this before, but your reviews are so inspirational and encouraging! Nothing but positive vibes! Thank you so much for your continuing support and encouragement! Again, its reviews like these that give me juice to keep going! I am so happy you liked this one! I was playing this one close to the chest, I've been feeling something like this lately below the surface of what I put out to people. This poem was a great release for me. Thank you so much for giving this one a read! It is always a pleasure and privilege to hear your feedback! Take care, Dan!

[Rana]

After the note in the bottle, when you show the man himself, struggling down there, the effect is reall great. I loved the metaphors you used. Loneliness and the sea of depression can be overwhelming and like you beautifully showed, it's hard to breathe down there. Wonderful work.

[Colton Warr]

Thank you very much, Rana! I appreciate the kind words and positivity! They really can be depressing, can't they? Ive received a little dose of that firsthand. I'm glad you enjoyed this piece! Thanks for giving it a read!

[sereenaoutloud]

wow...these are both strong and raw. You feel the pain of loosing a loved one, just overwhelmed with grief.
But a little ray of hope still resides. You create such great imagery that the readers goes on these journeys with you through the pain and sinking...trying to swim to the surface for air or for some relief from the pain!!
Just brilliant Colton
.

[Colton Warr]

Thank you so much, my friend! They are pretty strong and raw, aren't they? It is how I have been feeling lately, directly from the heart and soul. Many factors go into this but as you stated, and are very much correct, this is mainly the result of me losing my dearest love, and by my own doing. I appreciate you giving this one a read!

[Rache David]

your poem mirrors suffering and pain. But still you seek for hope, one who can save you at this point...
Every word, line and stanza evokes strong sensation and emotion so genuine.
I love it. I enjoyed reading. Something inside of me has been moved.... brilliant work colton.. :-)

[Colton Warr]

Thank you so much, Rach! It is an honor to know that my work has moved you! I appreciate the positivity and encouragement! I'm happy you enjoyed this piece, Thanks for reading!

[Freesearch 101]

Dope poem and concept. You sound like a natural. Great work. I'm inspired!!!

[Colton Warr]

Thank you very much, Matthew! I appreciate the kind words! I'm glad you walked away from this inspired, my friend! Thanks for stopping by and checking this one out!

[Emily]

Lovely wording!
Well done!!

[Colton Warr]

Thank you very much, Emily! I'm glad you liked this one! Thanks for stopping by and giving this a read!

[LauraraMonique]

I love how vivid all of this was in my mind, Colton, awesome job. I hope that you never stop aspiring your writing dreams. You have so much power in your writing. Keep up the great work, I will be reading your other pieces as well.

Best,

Laurara Monique

[Colton Warr]

Thank you so much, Laurara! You are too sweet! Seriously, this review made my day! Thank you so much for the encouragement and positivity! I needed that! I'm glad you enjoyed this one! Thanks for reading and thank you for the support!

[gabiaimee]

"What's done is done
What's in the past is in the past
But thinking and missing you
Is something that I cannot get passed"

Tell me about it. Sometimes it can be really hard to keep the past in the past. The only real way to do that is to let it go.......but that is much easier said than done.

Honestly, the word choice really makes this piece exceptional (to me anyways). I love the almost nautical word theme because it ties the piece to a sort of imagery. The depth here is incredible. Excellent!

[Colton Warr]

Thank you very much! I appreciate the kind words! I couldn't agree more. Especially something that was such a huge part of ones life. I'm glad you enjoyed this piece! Thanks for giving it a read!

[Isabel]

Wow this was exceptional and your words created an incredible visual. Great work keep it up!

[Colton Warr]

Thank you very much, Maria! I appreciate the kind words! I'm glad you were able to see what I was trying to depict! Thanks for reading!

[Shea McWilliams]

Well, I love this. It's so emotional and deep. Just one thing though-- I don't know if you meant to put "passed" instead of "past" in the beginning. Either way they are brilliant works of poetry. Fantastic job. Keep Writing!
-Shea

[Colton Warr]

Thank you so much, Shea! I'm glad you liked these and I'm glad you felt the depth and emotion! Well, I will tell you, it perplexed me for days on end lol after doing some intense research, I believe that my use is correct. However, I was doing said research at 3am so my judgment was probably lacking. If you find out that my usage is wrong and it should be "past" let me know! Thanks for giving this a read!

[Valentine]

Very deep and emotional write. Valentine

[Colton Warr]

Thank you, Valentine! I'm glad you felt the depth. Thank you very much for the continuing support and thanks for reading!