A Note in a Bottle Part II/The Man at the Bottom of The Sea

A Note in a Bottle Part II/The Man at the Bottom of The Sea

A Poem by Colton Warr
"

The water was rushing in...

"
A Note in a Bottle Part II 
A Poem by Colton Warr

What's done is done
What's in the past is in the past
But thinking and missing you
Is something that I cannot get passed 

I shouldn't have said that 
It would haunt you to know 
I've been where you are 
When the sun sets you feel so alone 

I can see us losing blood 
Do you think that we are dead? 
Your answer means the world to me
Since that day, I have bled 

The waves crashed down upon me
Their whispers washing me away from you 
The weight of the sea was crushing
The darkness of the bottom, if only you knew

They say the sea vexes all men
Well perhaps that is the case
Would you like to know my vexing?  
Just a glimpse of your darling face 
 
The water was rushing in 
I had to abandon ship 
You may never forgive me 
That doesn't mean we still can't save it 

*****

The Man at the Bottom of The Sea 
A Poem by Colton Warr 

As my soul sinks to the darkest of depths 
My heart reaches out for you
Into my mind you have crept 
Entangling everything I once knew

As I look to the surface in hope 
My eyes see a shimmering sight
Into my abyss I go, how does one cope? 
You used to be my sizzling light 

There are sharks and all sorts of leviathans 
They encircle me as if welcoming me in 
The weight of my guilt matched along with the ocean 
It is at this moment that I wish to repent my sins 

Is this how it was always supposed to be? 
With all of these rocks and creatures, still I am lonely 
I am not dead but I cannot breathe 
I am The Man at the Bottom of The Sea 

 

© 2015 Colton Warr


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dan
Colton, The depth and scope of your imagery really brings this piece to life...then the emotional kick is delivered and we all realize how precious lives (and love) really is. Survivors' guilt is arguably one of the most potent types of grieving, the guilt weighing down rational thought and pushing the emotional aspect to the fore. This is such a great write, Colton, but I've come to expect nothing BUT the best from your pen. Thank you for sharing this with all of us! take care...dan

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Colton Warr

4 Years Ago

Dan, I know I've told you this before, but your reviews are so inspirational and encouraging! Nothin.. read more



Reviews

Hmm... It sounds like you write from personal experience. I've been there. Its truly a forbidding place that seems to exist in a dimension all its own. Deeply moving.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Colton Warr

4 Years Ago

This is indeed from personal experience, my friend. Something I have been going through recently. Yo.. read more
Eck..I have a lot of read requests but cute poem

Posted 4 Years Ago


Colton Warr

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much, I appreciate you giving this a read!
yvo miki

4 Years Ago

Well ur Welcome u deserve it
Not that's poetry my friend! I longed for every lost love reading it! I've written something in a similar vein. I'd appreciate if you reviewed it. The title is "Sea Hoary Mist".

Posted 4 Years Ago


Colton Warr

4 Years Ago

Thank you very much for the kind words, Michael! I appreciate you stopping by and giving this a read.. read more
I love the way you write your poems, it was beautifully done once again.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Colton Warr

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much, Lea! I appreciate you saying that! I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for giving this .. read more
Very well versed! I like the emotion. You can feel it in your toes while you read this.

A little constructive criticism:

Watch your meter, the flow gets off a bit in places. When using rhyme, you have to be a bit more careful.
Also, keep an eye on spelling, a wrong word can pull focus away from the emotion.

Great job! I like the switch in rhyme pattern between poems!

Posted 4 Years Ago


Colton Warr

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much, my friend! I'm glad you liked this piece! I appreciate the constructive criticism.. read more
Oh wow, beautiful poem and well written! :)


Posted 4 Years Ago


Colton Warr

4 Years Ago

Thank you very much, Lyndy! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for giving it a read!
I loved The Man at the Bottom of the Sea.
My whole heart can relate to his story, the loneliness, the guilt.
Beautiful.
-VM

Posted 4 Years Ago


Colton Warr

4 Years Ago

Thank you! That one was pretty close to my chest, I mean, they both are but that one in particular i.. read more
wow I really love this piece what a beautiful poem so heart rendering... :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


Colton Warr

4 Years Ago

Thank you very much, Micky! I'm glad you liked this one! Thank you for stopping by and giving it a r.. read more
the length and bredth of your work is the brilliance of a truly poetic mind, the story is one of fascination this man at the bottom of the sea with sharks and all sort of rocks and creatures, the lover who has lost the one and now disappears beneath the waves of despair and depression, a remarkable work Colton :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


Colton Warr

4 Years Ago

Thank you so much, Richard! Your words are always so kind and encouraging! I'm glad you enjoyed this.. read more
After the note in the bottle, when you show the man himself, struggling down there, the effect is reall great. I loved the metaphors you used. Loneliness and the sea of depression can be overwhelming and like you beautifully showed, it's hard to breathe down there. Wonderful work.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Colton Warr

4 Years Ago

Thank you very much, Rana! I appreciate the kind words and positivity! They really can be depressing.. read more

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2528 Views
52 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on May 26, 2015
Last Updated on May 26, 2015
Tags: Love, Hate, A Note in a Bottle, The Sea, Waves, Ocean, Relationship, Guilt, Regret, Bottom, Poetry, Life, Memory, Romance, Hope, Desperation

Author

Colton Warr
Colton Warr

Richmond, VA



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