Emergency Room

Emergency Room  

A Poem by Colton Warr 

Rush her in, get her on the operating table

Get every man, woman, and child, anyone who is able 

She's in very bad condition 

I must give her my all to get her stable 

Hand me my tools, the prayers, love letters, and flowers 

Hand me everything I've done, the countless hours

I have to try and save her without her permission

I have to try, because of love, her heart is now ours

Quiet everyone, let me listen to her heart 

I hear it beating as it tries to tear itself apart 

"No!" I scream and I grab the knife to start the incision

I can't stop now, I've poured my soul into this from the start 

As I open her up I can see the damage 

A carnage that cannot be concealed by some bandage 

Leave it broken or try and fix it, a haunting decision

I told myself there was something left in you to salvage 

An assistant warned, "you could lose apart of yourself" 

I uttered "I know, but she needs my help" 

Little did I gather, I stood no chance

But I could not ignore everything that I had felt 

                             ******

The blood and gore of it all spewed 

A trail of pain left by our feud 

The way you rejected me was rude

You were the only thing I ever wanted to view

Your hands start to twitch and eyes roll back 

I tried, my love, but could never get us on track

And for my efforts all I caught was flak 

Everything you had, but love you lacked 

                            ******

"I'm here" I whisper "I'm right here" 

I hoped that that would remove your fears 

I could see you ending, your chest started to slow

And so, within my eyes, developed a tear

You rejected the love, the medication 

You made yourself numb with your suffocation

You destroyed yourself and took us down too

I just wanted to be your salvation 

I lean back and wipe the sweat from my eyes 

My hand falls to my mouth as I hold it back, I try

The life between us has stopped 

I ask to have the room, simply, to cry 

After they all leave I lean into your expired corpse 

My lips hover over your own "I was completely yours" 

I kiss you, thinking one last breath could do it

Yet, dead our love remains, I couldn't save what I truly adored 

Author's Note

More words to come....

Reviews

[MAD ENGLISHMAN]

I really enjoyed the rythm and flow. the story unfolding. The inevitable ending. Wonderful.

[Ellay]

Great writing! Keep up the good work my man!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like how you took something figurative, an idea, a perception and gave it concrete terms we could see...the surgeon, the lover trying to mend a broken heart...
the images are stark in this...and they work so well with what i saw the poet trying to convey.
nicely done.

j.

[DoormanDan]

That's such a sad ending. I really enjoyed this piece. The symbolism you threw in and the poetic narrative story telling approach feel neither clumsy nor tacky. Every line flows off the previous one fairly well, keeping people's attention for the entire ride.

I do think that a few lines feel a little off, such as "Everything you had, but love you lacked" and "And so, within my eyes, developed a tear". With that first line, I just think that the double reverse syntax makes the line a little clumsy. With that second line, where else would tears come from, if not the eyes? I do believe this second critique is moreover just nitpicking on my part, so take what you will from it, but it just feels like that "within my eyes" was more or less just there to increase the line length to make said line fit in more with the rest of the lines.

Other than those critiques, I have nothing but respect for this. You've demonstrated your ability to blend in symbolism with narrative style poetry. Keep on writing! :)

[Irenic]

a very emotional and loving poem which truly explains what a person feels when somebody is dying and to that somebody a person truly loves.
Thank for sharing:)
it is a nice piece.

[R.E. Ray]

A raw, gut-wrenching poem with so much emotion beginning to end. Your words so powerfully convey the pain and frustration of lost love, and yet without the bitterness. Instead, sincerity and humility. Nice work, sir.

[PandaPeaceful]

Your words speak the brutal truth, and I find myself with him, mourning over death. Intense emotion spirals around yours words, hitting my chest with pure rawness. Thank you for writing such a magnificent poem.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very sad written my friend. You left the reader in a sad place and painful thoughts. Thank you Colton for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[wordman]

the making of a great story

[Dara]

An amazing story with so much passion. I read it as part real and part allegory for love that has died, not only physically but emotionally. Well done.