Ten Toes

Ten Toes

A Poem by Confuser
"

Alright guys, 3rd poem, took it slowly. Thanks for your opinion.

"
Ten Toes

The shocks on her small scarred legs
are welcomed,
Red whelps from a belt prepared her,
To bend down, like a cotton picker,
The blood from their fingers dripping
onto blue, savaged knees in a white field,
Akin to a tattered American flag,
Like a faucet no one wants to hear
the same sensation a seamstress feels when pricked,
But some pain, brings gain.
   
Her hands move the wire quickly,
Steady to keep her head from ripping,
Her hair has been pulled out like an Indian scalp
and hangs lonely, lowly, lightly, silently,
On this goliath wall to keep
Creatures in or Creatures out,

The barbed metal, jagged edges,
the contagion and deceit
Controls her, contains her, retrains her,
Rapt attention reveals an ancient killing tool,
Giants would use to crush and mame,
Or Knucklebones, her favorite game.

The supple flesh of her thigh is saved by her slyness
And she lets out a sigh,
Like someone lost and found again.
Ecstasy, elation, anticipation builds,
As she gazes with blue Ashe eyes,
the mammoth electric green field comes alive,

Tiny round feet float like smoke through soft velvety grass,
She goes with certain laughter echoing through the clouds
like she’s the cat’s meow,

To the blueberry bush at long last…..










© 2014 Confuser


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Featured Review

this has quite powerful imagery and emotion that is both gripping and affecting.. it was like I was on a roller coaster.. up, down, around, and then all done, yay!.. the seamless way you painted a "story" yet, twisted, manipulated, and added deeper layers with its own imagery and details.. I got caught up in the vivid scenery.. the descriptions were exquisite and phrasing skillful, clever, and moving.. the comparisons intensified the feelings evoked.. you made them apt and easy to relate to.. only critique I can offer is think you meant "site" and not "sight" in description.. really enjoyed this.. well done!.. can't wait to read more :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Confuser

6 Years Ago

I really am so thankful for your review. I will make the change. It means so much; being new to wr.. read more
Confuser

6 Years Ago

................................Thanks.



Reviews

this is a very good write man, very raw

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Something isn't right in the very first line... shock or shocks? with is or are...of the second.

At the end I did see the scene behind my eyes... and could just make out the giggles...

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Confuser

6 Years Ago

The shocks - thank you, but I do wish you would have torn it apart! I have. Thank you for your tim.. read more
Chris

6 Years Ago

you don't argue with success... you "deal" with it. You told the story and I picked up on it right .. read more
Confuser

6 Years Ago

Thank you. This is not easy. Getting to emotions when there's a Bouncer standing guard. I have to.. read more
That's quite some poem from you, you say you find this hard to do but you're a natural, here is a simple tale about a young girl making a way to a field for blueberry's, seems she may have been beaten before, possibly for the same 'crime' but she's highly resourceful and despite all obstacles reaches her goal, guess its a case of never give up on your dreams, the way may provide danger and harm but the path is passable and the reward worth all effort, a fine tale Miss Confuser, your poetry has a life and a passion, you really don't need any assistance you have it all now just keep your mind open to all inspiration, it can come from the sky or the paving stones just seek and you shall find, bravo, bless you :)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

R Smith

6 Years Ago

Hello Dale, friend request coming your way on FB, I go there sometimes, yes I tried song lyrics and .. read more
Confuser

6 Years Ago

As a child the tall pasture fence in front of our yard could not be climbed, so I'd have to get thro.. read more
R Smith

6 Years Ago

You are always welcome, good to see you had this poem in you from childhood, its a way to make stron.. read more

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805 Views
13 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on October 25, 2014
Last Updated on November 15, 2014
Tags: childhood, pain, defiance, pleasure, abuse, overcoming

Author

Confuser
Confuser

Manning, SC



About
Happily married with three wonderful children. The first poem I attempted was Paper Heart which I submitted here last year. People here have been so kind and encouraging! Their feedback and reading t.. more..

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