Mad Men

Sometimes men expect a lot from their wives; It can be overwhelming; Tell me what you think. Trying to see the humor in it all. I'm new, so advise me please

Mad Men

She was like a robot,
Like a stealth machine,
Like a step-ford wife,
And, quite frightening to me,

Where did my carefree friend go?
This is like a terrible nightmare,
But who am I to judge?
What did I really know?

She loved to clean everything,
 the dishes and the clothes,
every inch of  his house,
But she also wiped away 
her wishes and her dreams.
But her husband was quite happy,
A sight you had to see,

Perfectly sprayed on hairdo,
Makeup applied so carefully,
Her husband was so happy….
Lit up like a moonbeam….

The way she walked so slowly,
In those four inch high heels,
 hips swaying side to side,
Tight dresses, scantly clothes,
and breasts smiling up so high,
Like a perfect rose,

Everyday he came home,
She greeted him at the door,
Her smiling eyes, and a luscious kiss.  
And don’t forget,
the magnificent dinners she planned,

He insisted she go to Cordon Bleu,
How could he ask for more,
What else was a woman to do?

King of his Castle, each day his self esteem
would grow and grow,
Just like that beanstalk, those seeds we plant
Sometimes, you may just never know…..

He made a slight observation about her size,
Just a few pounds he said,
would make her, oh just right.

She proceeded with the logic,
 of her mechanical mind,
And began a vigilant program,
 to reach that  tiny goal,
to become the perfect woman,
It will be just fine.

It was oh so simple,
Exercise and Diet!
Restrictions apply!
Diet and Exercise!
Restrictions apply!
It will be just fine.

He smiled, everyday as she greeted him at the door,
But he felt she could lose, just a little bit more…
So she would try even harder,
What did she have to lose?
She had to please her love-bird,
There was nothing left to do.

One day the King of the Castle,
Came home to his golden door,
But she wasn’t there to greet him…
Oh no, where could she be?
But he became relaxed and exited as he called out her name,
Oh, he thought, it just my lovers' game.
He hurried anxiously toward their bedroom door,

The lights were getting dim now,  
Oh what naughty pleasure awaits him?

And there was her sexy lingerie,
But she was there no more,
Only thin bones and long dangling hair,
Spread with great deduction upon their bed,

But her teeth were still just perfect,
Smiling up at him,
It seems he took more away
Than her wishes and her dreams,

So be careful what you desire,
You may get less than you think.

Reviews

[Workvio]

Your heart has penned a wonderful poem with a great message ... No one can spend their lives trying to be something for someone else ... If people do not accept you for who you are, you do not need them, because, as in the case of this poem and I have seen it in real life, some appetites are never satisfied until they consume you ... I always like a little meat with my potatoes (Texas expression), and consider that a woman's true beauty is in her spirit, her personality, and in her smile, not only in her figure ...Beautifully done, and ever so well expressed and said ... You keep telling it the way it is ...!

[Confuser]

Marvin, you are so kind! I hate those magazine that make young girls and women, especially now with all the technologies, feel inadequate; Your review shows how wonderful a writer you are. Thank you so much!

[Workvio]

Well, Dale, you got me going now ... A person is like a box (envisage a shoe box) ... The box is the body the person is housed in, some big, some small, some wide, some thin, some tall, some short, but within every box is a very real, thinking, feeling, human essence of a person ... Now I have no problem with skinny women, and yes pretty girls do catch my eye and turn my head, but if I had wanted, as mine and mine alone, a twiggy girl (not knocking twiggy) I would have found me a petite little twiggy girl for my wife, but then the human essence housed in that box might not have been someone or something I could love. I was looking for a person, not a box, and so the size and demensions of the box mattered very little to me, except that we are all drawn to certain shapes and certain personalities as mates. It is insane for a man to pick a woman based only upon the box they come in, though some boxes are more attractive than others, they are all just boxes that hold and house very delicate and genuinely special creatures called women ... A man who does this, or selects a woman expecting her to change her box for him, because he really desires another box, and not her box, is obviously a dumb shoe looking for a box stupid enough to allow him to enjoy the pleasure of her warmth and shelter, because he is in reality a dumb shoe some other box threw away or would not have any part of, or he is an unfaithful dumb shoe that really contemplates parking himself in another box (no vulgar pun intended) ...

[Confuser]

Well, Marvin, you have made me laugh; and I totally agree; I do agree with many of your thoughts especially earlier when it comes to the way things in our society have changed. I wasn't raised to be that way; neither my children and my son understands how to kind to women has well; so many things have changed; not for the better. Nice talk about the box; interesting metaphor; there are probably many of those unfaithful; or dumb shoes; probably men & women. So sad & sick to me; the world is so sick in so many ways but we have to try our best I suppose. From the time I met my husband, he pumped my gas for me; opened the door all the things I exspected, and he was taught. Romance, huum, these young and some old don't know: guess gone to hell in a handbasket; great thoughts and thank you Marvin. Dale

[Fran Marie]

So many women give up their goals and dreams / careers to please the madness of controlling men ..your poem so aptly describes this very madness..neat piece..

[Matching Socks]

I have a friend with an engineering degree that never got to apply it at all because she married right out of school and her husband wanted her to be a stay at home mom. Nothing wrong with that except her goals and desires were not considered.

Don't get it...
Good job on this.

[armin]

O, such a great masterpiece you have created with your skills. You have done wonders with words in this poem.
One day the King of the Castle,
Came home to his golden door,
But she wasn’t there to greet him…
Oh no, where could she be?
But he became relaxed and exited as he called
out her name,
Oh, he thought, it just my lovers' game.
He hurried anxiously toward their bedroom
door,
The lights were getting dim now,
Oh what naughty pleasure awaits him?
That was quite funny. Have a great time writing.

[Confuser]

Oh, Armin, read something else, this was just so silly - probably took an hour.

[armin]

Alright I'll do that.

[Kami Grace]

This amazes me a lot. The message is extremely powerful and overwhelming.
The message is meaningful and strong -- that we always wish for more and more and will never be contented, yet what we don't know about is the darkness that lies before us.
Very well-written! :)

[R Smith]

Not a silly poem at all Dale, its quite insightful to modern day living, to much emphasis on being so physically perfect and forgetting to be a real person, it reads more like a story than a poem but that is a quality in itself and the reversal at the end is brilliant, 'you may get less than you think', as opposed to the usual way of saying that is just great, a very good message and write Dale, well done yet again :)

[icelandicblue]

Ha...you can't live for someone else because you always end up sacrificing yourself in the end. A very clever story of a life of perfection for only one of them.

[AprilRN1210]

This one felt a little "all over the place" for me.. maybe that was the intent, not sure.. it was very affecting.. at the end had this huge knot in my heart.. the lengths that we go to to try and please others sometimes, losing ourselves.. and the selfishness of others who don't think about how their actions and words affect other people..

[Confuser]

Thank you. No dear child, I told you; I'm just learning; "all over the place." You know, I think when we try, to mold something and not be honest; it can fail. But that's alright. I do respect and appreciate your opinion. I have in my life time, went to great lengths to please, but that is LONG gone. Don't you ever let a man push you around. You seem so sweet. I'm still naive, but I try to trust. Anyway...get back into your girly thangs!

[AprilRN1210]

I am not a professional, technical, or a critic.. I just try and give my impressions on something: how it made me feel, what it made me think, and what I take away from it.. then maybe a few little suggestions (again opinion) on pieces.. that is what I do.. I am still learning myself..

[Confuser]

But you are so much better my dear! I like it; the critiques. I do not have thin skin when it comes to opinions about writing. I savor them; Yum; it's encouraging. We need to have opinions!

[AprilRN1210]

yes, I value the opinions of others, which is why I try to share mine. Not always taken that way from others, but I still try..

[Confuser]

Hey, I don't have thin skin about writing. Now, you are delicate enough not to say, This is just terrible. I have submitted one poem, and withdrew it. I said, not sure sounds high schoolist, about death, and someone agreed; somebody else liked it, but they wouldn't say it if they didn't see it. Don't ever, ever worry about me, girl. That's how we learn!

[Confuser]

..............................................................]]]

[AprilRN1210]

I would never tell anyone that their writing is terrible, who am I to judge?.. I would just give impressions and opinion.. in a tactful, polite, and encouraging manner.. that's just me.. it is how we learn.. I learn from the honest reviews I get.. that is why I value them so highly..

[Confuser]

Tactful. That's the way! No reason to be mean to anyone. You are right; we have to learn. We are adults. Now, if a kid posted something & it was just horrible; I would do my darn best to find something interesting. Don't know how to change the error in the poem. Shouldn't have stuck it in there. Bye

[AprilRN1210]

no, there isn't any reason to be mean, but there are always a few anywhere you go that will do exactly that.. and yes, we are adults, but again, that doesn't always mean anything. I always try to point out the positive in anything I review, but at the same time, I try to be honest as well.. with this form of communication, it is easy to get meaning misunderstood or to hurt feelings when that wasn't intent at all.. I try to be careful, but happens sometimes anyway, especially when you don't just stroke egos and go with the crowd.. I never mean anything by it, but again, not the most ideal form of communication.. having said that, I would still try and help them the best of my ability.. I am such a beginner that I have little confidence in my ability to actually help, but will share impressions and advice.. not the best, not technical, and definitely not from an educated standpoint, but as a reader and beginning writer and a friend.. and what do you mean about error?

[Confuser]

It's my computer; since there's a video playing on a poem you wrote; didn't you send me a link? When I clicked on reviews or whatever, it took me to a new poem/however it could have been the last...OH, just realized that, anyway, something's wrong with my computer and it sort of got stuck! Wouldn't respond....I'm going to have to get my son's - he has an I-pad, anyway.....I think you do a great job. You are a great writer. Be proud of that! You'll only get better.

[Confuser]

..................................................]Gotta go warm up food.

[MomzillaNC]

The excess of trying to be perfect and the carelessly callous things said by loved ones that push us over that edge.

NOTES:
She was like a robot,
Like a stealth machine,
Like a step-ford wife,
And, quite frightening to me,

Where did my carefree friend go?
This is like a terrible nightmare,
But who am I to judge?
What did I really know?

She loved to clean everything,
 the dishes and the clothes,
every inch of  his house,
But she also wiped away 
her wishes and her dreams.
But her husband was quite happy,
A [sight] you had to see,

Perfectly sprayed on [hairdo],
Makeup applied so carefully,
Her husband was so happy…
Lit up like a [moonbeam]…

The way she walked so slowly,
In those four inch high [heels],
hips swaying side to side,
Tight dresses, [scantily clothed],
and breasts smiling up so high,
Like a perfect rose,

Everyday he came home,
She greeted him at the door,
Her smiling eyes, and a luscious kiss.  
And don’t forget,
the magnificent dinners she planned,

He insisted she go to [Cordon Bleu],
How could he ask for more,
What else was a woman to do?

King of his castle, each day his self esteem
would grow and grow,
Just like that beanstalk, those seeds we plant
Sometimes, you may just never know…..

He made a slight observation about her size,
Just a few pounds he said,
would make her, oh just right.

She proceeded with the logic,
 of her mechanical mind,
And began a vigilant program,
 to reach that  tiny goal,
to become the perfect woman,
It will be just fine.

It was oh so simple,
Exercise and Diet!
Restrictions apply!
Diet and Exercise!
Restrictions apply!
It will be just fine.

He smiled, everyday as she greeted him at the door,
But he felt she could lose, just a little bit more…
So she would try even harder,
What did she have to lose?
She had to please her love-bird,
There was nothing left to do.

One day the King of the Castle,
Came home to his golden door,
But she wasn’t there to greet him…
Oh no, where could she be?
But he became relaxed and exited as he called out her name,
Oh, he thought, it just my [lover’s] game.
He hurried anxiously toward their bedroom door,

The lights were getting dim now,  
Oh what naughty pleasure awaits him?

And there was her sexy lingerie,
But she was there no more,
Only thin bones and long dangling hair,
Spread with great deduction upon their bed,

But her teeth were still just perfect,
Smiling up at him,
It seems he took more away
Than her wishes and her dreams,

So be careful what you desire,
You may get less than you think.

[Confuser]

Thank you and you are right. Many people can get pushed over the edge. I truly appreciate the grammatical changes, I am trying to figure out [heels]? & Oh, think I just got scantily clothes/grammar? Wow, have to change that if I'm correct. I could go deep with this, but just put this out there. Thank you so much.

[MomzillaNC]

YVW! :D

[Laura Lynn]

This is brilliant! It's okay, sometimes we think grandiosely and less is more. So we are lesser by way of generosity versus greed. The world and others, practical conditions, taking care of the greed part for us when we are lacking in some this or that way or means, whether possessions, or friendship, or partnership, or career, or negative habit. It is hard to know.

[Confuser]

Thank you Laura Lynn. I took the humorous way, but can go deep with it. I'm glad you liked it. Just silly really. Wrote it while ago.

[Confuser]

When I said awhile ago, meant this am. Anyway.......

[Laura Lynn]

Humdidum, something in me wants to say, oh smack. well I better get a move on here, so our lives virtually move quick

[Confuser]

You are really funny Laura L.

[Confuser]

...........................Here comes my Girl, Tom Petty