DEGRADATION

DEGRADATION

A Poem by Confuser
"

control, loss, retribution, pride, repression

"
DEGRADATION

The trophy to feel complete,
Without it they feel no peace.
Like a hunter, the buck,
and the rack,

So she savors, the tick tack,
Tock tick, of a wind up clock,
Growing inside the bones of her back,
Carrying the weighted loads,
Of past generations, foretold
That mocked and grinned,
Denying their sins.

The vanity they proudly display,
Like a peacock, searching for a mate,
Never finding their way,

Thieves that invade the innocent,
Always seeking out the weak,
To degrade, capture, and control,
to fill that vacant empty soul,

They Grind and Gnash their teeth,
for they shall never accept defeat,

Rationalizing, a weapon of comfort,
Knowing they will always be alone,
Inside those ancient crooked minds,
created by fifthly swine,
She will patiently bide her time.

The guilty hands of unworthy men,
Their only desire to conquer,
And its' never ending quest to be the best,
But they know not what it is,

One day there will be a reckoning,
One day tears will flow,
Like rain, no rainbows.


© 2014 Confuser


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Featured Review

This is the first piece of yours that i read, very nice imgary, message and diction, I could feel alot of power in your writing. The form was off beat which made me stumble quite abit, i guess that was intended in the frustation of the emotions raging in the poem. Very good writ...Thank you for sharing...

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Confuser

6 Years Ago

Kenneth, so nice of you to read it. Sorry for the stumbling, saw something about abuse, go to sleep.. read more



Reviews

The guilty hands of unworthy men. I really like the way that line flows and a nod to the message contained in the piece as a whole. It speaks to me of birthing a legacy of living a life and seeing what we see as we age. Well done

Posted 5 Years Ago


This piece is tragically and very sadly, beautifully written. Not sure why I get the vibes and message that my heart receives, as it may have nothing to do with that which your heart actually intended to set to page, but I sense the plight of a woman, women, young ladies, sought by men over the ages to be used and consumed as prizes in proving their prowess and manhood, feeding their lusts and appetites never saited, time after time, in degrading and defaming girl after girl, woman after woman, with never a thought for anything or anyone but their own pleasure, most especially not that of their current victim of attention and consumption in proving themselves, indeed, men ... If I have missed it, forgive me, but this is what is stirred in my old man heart, a man of mush ...

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this is really so smooth...very clear to the point and poured with wonderful thoughts...I loved these lines...
The guilty hands of unworthy men,
Their only desire to conquer,
And its' never ending quest to be the best,
But they know not what it is,

One day there will be a reckoning,
One day tears will flow,
Like rain, no rainbows.


Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Loved it! Especially the part about there being a day of reckoning. I hate thieves too, always taking from the hardworking. Great poem!

Posted 6 Years Ago


This is the first piece of yours that i read, very nice imgary, message and diction, I could feel alot of power in your writing. The form was off beat which made me stumble quite abit, i guess that was intended in the frustation of the emotions raging in the poem. Very good writ...Thank you for sharing...

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Confuser

6 Years Ago

Kenneth, so nice of you to read it. Sorry for the stumbling, saw something about abuse, go to sleep.. read more
The rhyme is okay but the meter could have been more strict. I'm not too keen on meter and rhyme so I don't take much interest in it except when there is good poetry.
The imagery is quite thought provoking and especially the stanza:

'Rationalizing, a weapon of comfort,
Knowing they will always be alone,
Inside those ancient crooked minds,
created by fifthly swine,
She will patiently bide her time.'

I myself believe rationality is dangerous so it struck out to me.
The flow is good too.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Confuser

6 Years Ago

I truly appreciate your review. Oh, I adore the critics. I'm quite new to writing and if I wanted a.. read more
oooh ,much interesting you articulate the words and phrase them. Quite scientific like authors and different from a poetic style. Although last stanza was lovely. But if I have to pick the best lines out of this piece, it'll be
They Grind and Gnash their teeth,
for they shall never accept defeat,
Rationalizing, a weapon of comfort,
Knowing they will always be alone,
Inside those ancient crooked minds,
created by fifthly swine,
She will patiently bide her time.
Much anger in those lines, well crafted. And I have to say you are a bit confuser, well in a good sense. Do tell me about my new work too. I'll love that.
Have a nice time.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very strong poem, expressing alot of anger and sadness.
Great work, it was a pleasure reading it...:)

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Wow! I loved this! So well written, it really made me not want to stop reading, the ending, really was the icing on the cake: Like rain, no rainbows... I LOVE IT!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Confuser

6 Years Ago

I've never been on any other site. If people can't say nice things, keep that trap shut!!! Now, I .. read more
Luximir

6 Years Ago

Guten Tag! I do not mind criticism at all haha. I like it here already... and lucky you that you hav.. read more
Confuser

6 Years Ago

Honey, I love my baby doggies; even though Pizza's pretty big. Louie hair needs grooming, but he so.. read more

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723 Views
20 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on November 17, 2014
Last Updated on November 21, 2014
Tags: re-birth, patience, mankind, pain, loss

Author

Confuser
Confuser

Manning, SC



About
Happily married with three wonderful children. The first poem I attempted was Paper Heart which I submitted here last year. People here have been so kind and encouraging! Their feedback and reading t.. more..

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