Just Call Me.....Sunflower

Love lost....pleas to regain, misunderstanding, memories, obstacles to overcome

Just Call Me…..Sunflower

The red moon shines down upon him in specs

Low lonely filtered light he reflects

For he does not trust kindness, frowns

No delight

No trusting in love, no respect for his life

But there’s a trace of him in every word I write

In every thought I think

And he called me Sunflower

I was long and lean, shined tall and bright

 

Inside my brain thunder rattles and shakes

Like a speeding roaring freight train

Boiling steam releasing condensation

Restrained reverence is guiding me

Through channels of his bloody moon’s lost lonely dreams

 

I wish he could see me and know my words are true

But he turns his proud head away refuses to believe

I’m still his sunflower, full of life, swaying in the breeze

Seeking his touch, soft guiding hands around my keys

 

But there’s nothing I can do; plead for him to see

There are honest people in this world

There’s riot inside your mind that’s pleading for truth

To be released waiting wishing you will believe

 

It’s just a tiny plague of madness, mixed with a whole lot of greed

You feel contempt and indifference, but we’re mere mortal slaves

In inhumanity’s credo of the unrighteous indignities

The Lords of Medieval Fantasy whispered to me

They said just let go sweet girl and he’ll be free

But the bloody moon is rising, in his deep REM sleep

I feel a warm reflection like the hot desert’s heat

The righteous razor screams the cut’s too deep

 

But, just call me sunflower; I will turn my head

My soft petals with fall gently upon your chest

We will cuddle together forever at rest laying

Peacefully in our bed…..  

Author's Note

Appreciate input, thanks in advance for reading; just thoughts

Reviews

[Devons]

This is a really attractive piece of writing, and the language is compelling.
It's interesting how it achieves the portrayal of a character by contrast: showing the soft beauty and understanding tolerance of the narrator reflecting the harsh cynicism of the lover by comparison. There's a cleverness in the way that works: indirectness is often a more effective form of communication when combined with intelligence, and is often far more readable than the opposite (which is closer to being didactic).
The overriding message the poem skilfully conveys though is the crux of its appeal: the co-existence of opposites; the 'yin and yang', beauty and the beast, rough and smooth human identity. It is like a mutual thriving based on the qualities of one another, and the sympathy and empathy shared in what the other does not possess. Often people dismiss the possibility of such a relationship of personalities and souls on paper, but in reality it happens all the time - and in fact it is the mediating quality of human survival and understanding.
Really well written; intelligently, sympathetically poised with winning balance.

NB "...mixed with (a) whole lot of greed" --- and shouldn't the third last line read: "my soft petals will fall gently upon your chest"..?

[Confuser]

Devons: Odd, but then again; I corrected that....maybe I didn't save; so sweet to bring it to my attention. I'm reading your review thinking, I totally agree: now let me check out this poem he's referring to....LOL....thanks!!!

[Devons]

Oh, I am a microscope!!

[Confuser]

I am going to restrain: Sorry, I bet you would have loved microbiology, physiology, anatomy and above all the labs.........................Guten Tag! Too smart Devons, your use of language is powerful!.......thanks again....

[Devons]

Actually, I hated science at school! ;)
Although there are certain parts of anatomy I find fascinating... I'll shut up now .

[Confuser]

Gotcha: but I love science and especially chemistry, and every one I mentioned; have a great day!

[Alan Corbett]

Thank you for your kind review. I am happily married too. 50 years. 4 children 8 grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. My forte is more story writing than poetry.
The poem above just call me... sunflower is really good. I enjoyed reading it immensely. Well done.
What is the secret of a loving and long marriage? Talk to each other and don't keep secrets. Right?

[Confuser]

Thanks Alan: I'll have to ponder that question, one day....so glad your're happily married & have a great day. Thanks for reviewing.....

[sunprincess]

.........love the name he chose for you...some guys are sweet, I wonder was he a poet?....love the poem...thank you for sharing, I enjoyed :) ★

[Confuser]

Fiction, but I have addressed my children as a Sunflower a time or two. I wish someone had; I love the affection, the thought. It's sweet.

[sunprincess]

......truly I thought was of real life...I enjoyed this piece...it's a nice write ★

[Confuser]

Thanks: Let's all be "Happy Sunflowers" (at least for the summer, LOL)

[Writer at last! Sky ~]

I can really call you sunflower for this, I see stunning warmness of love throughout.

[Coyote Poetry]

Beautiful story in the poem. I had to read again for the tenderness of the words. I like the use of the sunflower.
"I wish he could see me and know my words are true
But he turns his proud head away refuses to believe
I’m still his sunflower, full of life, swaying in the breeze
Seeking his touch, soft guiding hands around my keys"
You create nice places and good vision with the good description. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[JayceeC]

Sounds like a dark spot on a marriage or relationship. I must say that your dark space has a much prettier view than mine did. Healing can be achieved though, as long as the last step is not taken. The problem is, you never know exactly where that invisible line has been drawn. a beautiful, Sad write that has just a glimmer of hope in the ending...but it's no sure thing.
A wonderful write!

[Confuser]

JayceeC, thank you so much for the wonderful review. Sorry about your relationship: I don't know where this poem came from; Just thought of the line: Just call me Sunflower. Dale

[JayceeC]

LOL...relationships/marriages ebb and flow, and mine is flowing like Niagara at this point. My shadows are gone and light streams sparkle of the water and mists to make rainbows.

[Confuser]

Jan: That's life.....those crazy ups & downs....sweet response....almost like a cipher...

[anne]

But, just call me sunflower; I will turn my head...amazing write dear..:))

[Neville]

Just thoughts, indeed. You have something here, something a little bit special....All Good things, N

[Kami Grace]

I can't stop reading it again, Dale; it's definitely an amazing write. The sadness seeing a lost mind, the desperation to have him back in her life, the hopelessness deep down yet with still wish with the tiniest ray of light....... All of these flow through me and it touched me deep down the heart. An elegant piece of artwork.

Kami

[Ehra Khan]

This piece has got depths to it and you've got to delve deeper. also the imagery is perfect and the rhyming is so musical! the feelings are conveyed in a lovely manner! divine read!!:)

[costa siwale]

This is a good poem, rhythm, imagery and astounding philosophy. Well done