Top signs it's time to get rid of your car

In accident situations your airbags must be blown up manually

No matter where you try to set your destination, your g.p.s. recalculates to the nearest junkyard

When you drive up the street you hear an orchestra of  smoke detectors going off

Word of this  continuous, unapproachable,  black cloud has reached the domain of the octopus and they are envious

Your bumper hangs so low that the township hires you for snow removal

"Nutty Uncle Bob" sank so deep  into your rear cushions that you had to file a missing persons report

You are unable to tell the difference between normal engine noises and a fireworks grand finale

Your mechanic examines your car and then requests to be a beneficiary in your will

Plumes of smoke from your tailpipe showed up on NASA’s Terra satellite and they initiated a Super Volcano evacuation

" 0 to 60 in 8 seconds" has been replaced with "Why won't this blasted thing start again!"

You park in a high crime area. You leave your car unlocked and  running and there's a penny on your dashboard. You come back hours  later and the only thing stolen is the penny.

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