Crushes and Kisses

Crushes and Kisses

A Poem by Sangeetha
"

This poem was inspired by a time in my life when I had the biggest crush ever, and how I'm over it.

"
Crushes and kisses. By Sangeetha

Love, so vague.
Love, so plain.
Love, so confusing.
Love, too much pain.

Love, what a bore.
Love, people always want more.
Love, I suppose isn't bad.
Love, is after all blind as a bat.

Love, will be your downfall.
Love, I don't like it at all.
Love, tore my heart.
Love, could cure a part.

But once fallen you'll never look back
For your stuck with it like blue tack.
Careful now, it's poison lurks
Careful who you love if you want the perks.

I was once a love sick puppy
But now I'm free of a fool.
Happy I will forever be
Reminded me to never be a tool.

Many were misguided by it
But fret not anymore
I'll teach all that I know
So you'll never lose your core.

Lock your heart up with a chain and lock
Throw the key away and have your heart blocked.
Don't worry there's nothing left for misses
Everything will be better for not dealing with crushes and kisses.



© 2016 Sangeetha


Author's Note

Sangeetha
I know won't a lot of you out there share the same views about love but once you have a horrible experience with a extremely hard to get over crush...you'll think twice about liking anyone again... Gimme a high five for those who have gone through the same
Hope you guys like this piece anyways.

My Review

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Featured Review

OK I am here. Since I would end up reading your comments and chat thread With Shadow on my review, kinda became hard now not to check your write. I always read the first ones posted here (Gives me an idea later if your writing has evolved or you were good to begin with and have just got better at expressing it).

I will talk about the poem itself then my experience with love.

Good Points: You try to invoke imagery and your metaphors though not unique it is not cliched at the same time. I like the fact how your poem talks both about the obsession and the realization of how it can hurt as well.

Points to Improve on: Overall though rhymes are forced. A Poem's not all about the rhymes (Don worry I did the same thing with my first ever poem and because I forced it to rhyme the feelings i wanted to convey got a little sidetracked) . The flow of a write should be maintained and thus you need better word choices. Don't just add words to make it rhyme while the message you wanted to convey there becomes vague. And the use of word Love, becomes jarring here, especially in the first stanza. I am guessing you used it so many times to convey obsession. Maybe it wasn't required to such an extent.

Overall conclusion: You do a good job trying to convey your feelings here it is definitely relatable, in my case my first crush metaphorically died right in front of my eyes. Doesn't become easy to get over it. It's hard not to keep our guard up and not trust the feeling of love that easily the second time around.There are many points here you have mentioned which do make sense and I agree with them. That is where better word choices would have enhanced the read. But then again your honest raw feelings on this write make it an enjoyable read nonetheless. Thank you for sharing ^^

Sorry I am often blunt about what I liked and what I didn't, hopefully I wasn't rude. ^^'

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Érenn

4 Years Ago

Na I think I totally agree with you ^^ in fact if you end up reading my initial works and and then m.. read more
Sangeetha

4 Years Ago

Ooh its exactly how I do my art my styles of painting and drawing does change over time as I grab in.. read more
Érenn

4 Years Ago

Yeah true being in the creative arts field myself I understand what you mean here ^^



Reviews

OK I am here. Since I would end up reading your comments and chat thread With Shadow on my review, kinda became hard now not to check your write. I always read the first ones posted here (Gives me an idea later if your writing has evolved or you were good to begin with and have just got better at expressing it).

I will talk about the poem itself then my experience with love.

Good Points: You try to invoke imagery and your metaphors though not unique it is not cliched at the same time. I like the fact how your poem talks both about the obsession and the realization of how it can hurt as well.

Points to Improve on: Overall though rhymes are forced. A Poem's not all about the rhymes (Don worry I did the same thing with my first ever poem and because I forced it to rhyme the feelings i wanted to convey got a little sidetracked) . The flow of a write should be maintained and thus you need better word choices. Don't just add words to make it rhyme while the message you wanted to convey there becomes vague. And the use of word Love, becomes jarring here, especially in the first stanza. I am guessing you used it so many times to convey obsession. Maybe it wasn't required to such an extent.

Overall conclusion: You do a good job trying to convey your feelings here it is definitely relatable, in my case my first crush metaphorically died right in front of my eyes. Doesn't become easy to get over it. It's hard not to keep our guard up and not trust the feeling of love that easily the second time around.There are many points here you have mentioned which do make sense and I agree with them. That is where better word choices would have enhanced the read. But then again your honest raw feelings on this write make it an enjoyable read nonetheless. Thank you for sharing ^^

Sorry I am often blunt about what I liked and what I didn't, hopefully I wasn't rude. ^^'

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Érenn

4 Years Ago

Na I think I totally agree with you ^^ in fact if you end up reading my initial works and and then m.. read more
Sangeetha

4 Years Ago

Ooh its exactly how I do my art my styles of painting and drawing does change over time as I grab in.. read more
Érenn

4 Years Ago

Yeah true being in the creative arts field myself I understand what you mean here ^^
The repetitive nature of your writing (especially the first half) shows us the obsessive nature of one's thoughts when stuck in a superficial "crush" . . . I don't think it's necessary to write "Love" on the first dozen lines -- once would've been sufficient & we know all that follows relates to Love. In places, it feels like you're reaching for a few of those rhymes, as the line doesn't make perfect sense with the chosen rhyming word (I think it's better to convey clear meaning & rhyming is secondary to that goal). In the end, I totally understand how one wants to protect one's own heart from ever going there again. You've showed us this well.

Posted 4 Years Ago


Sangeetha

4 Years Ago

Thank you for your review I'm sure to make s note on that. I'm also glad you liked it in the end
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Sometimes one feels like this but you'll be in love again, believe me. ^^
Reminds me a little of my poem Barricade the Doors, similiar content in a way. I like the line " careful who you love ".

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sangeetha

4 Years Ago

Oh yeah it does sound like your poem barricade the doors loved your version too.
oh my god! sangeetha i do agree with you... all the things you have pointed out here is so true... i have experienced heartbreak, i have kept my heart locked for so long because i feared of another heartbreak... your message is exceptional and very true... but you know we all crave for it, without love there is no beauty of life, you can spend your 50 yrs locking your heart but one day your heart will want to open it...


i agree with you..... heartbreak teaches us so many lessons, i know the pain of it but i know the beauty of it too... a very relatable write.... hats off! 200 ratings!!!

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Inject Positivity

4 Years Ago

yup! that's a better idea than blocking your heart... enjoy being single now, so when you find love .. read more
Sangeetha

4 Years Ago

i suppose so..the main reason i feel why i avoid love is to avoid lust dont wanna be anywhere near i.. read more
Inject Positivity

4 Years Ago

i agree with it too... stay safe from it... look and wait for true love... it will be worth waiting... read more
Oh my God! So relatable. I agree with you...absolutely right.

''Careful now, it's poison lurks
Careful who you love if you want the perks. ''---love this line

Well written. A nice message.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Sangeetha

4 Years Ago

Ahhhh!!! Thnx soo much jess I am sooo happy to see that I'm not the only one ...who knew you got the.. read more

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Added on March 13, 2016
Last Updated on March 13, 2016

Author

Sangeetha
Sangeetha

Singapore



About
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