A Brown Penny for a Golden Thought

A beautiful struggle.

A bronze penny twirling amidst summer air,

I gaze at the withered penny, in its splendor,

Carved and annihilated, it bathes in opaque sun,

Glistening like a crystal ballerina,

Moved to silence.

Bronze penny dives into bejeweled well,

Coarseness of passion left on my skin,

Alexandrite water moaned under its touch,

My pleadings afloat in whispered tremors.

Bronze penny underneath the surface of constraints,

My love buried within castle of coins,

Mind overruled my very first love,

Fear,

I mistook for mere pangs of lust .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

Hope you enjoy my little piece :)

Reviews

[LastMonth]

''Dude. She's hot.''
''..Yeah, but she's got a horrible personallity.''

Physical attraction,
Emotional Attraction..

Two different things.
People so often mistake love for being one of the two. Instead of a complete whole that is both of them, and so much more. You can't love someone if you are not attracted to them. Not in a romantic way. I don't care what they tell you, personality, success, none of it matter if you are not attracted to them.

If you don't want to touch them, kiss them, hold them-- None of this is going to do. Pure emotional attraction is something you save for your friends. You also can't build a relationship on physical attachment alone, it's unhealthy.

Your poem really invokes alot of thought.
It's beautifully written and it is thick with emotions and lust.
Sometimes there's more power in being subtle, as you've cleared showed here.
Thank you.

[Crimson_ish]

This is indeed a very very late and prolonged Thank you, yet, Thank you so much for this review, and sorry for this late response. Adding a little further, I think it is the intriguing play of Love and Lust, in a relationship you can never opt for just one, a relationship purely based on either will always lead to hollowness, although culturally these terms become contradictory, relationships form a place where they are not only merged, but rather identify as one. Exclusion from one, leads to a little loss of other every time you merely touch someone.

[Richard🖌]

Dear Kajal,
I enjoyed your "little piece" VERY much. : )
Particularly, the way in which the softness and innocence of your choice in mood-setting artwork touched with celestial sweetness; as well, the whispers of imagery your words paint into vivid imagination, that the soul may listen and equally understand, too.
Somethings touch sweetly and inspire sheer pleasure to the senses, and I consider the entreating, metaphorical sensuality and enthralling loveliness flowing all through your words, lines, and verses to be amongst those sweet touches, and sooo wondrously-written, Kajal.
Nothing to fear from love or lust, M'Lady, except having none to enjoy, embrace, and learn from … smiles 'n hugs of warmest thanks! ⁓ Richard

[Crimson_ish]

I always adore your reviews Richard, somehow the surpass my very poetry! :) It's a slow climb, but I am already in the meadows and feelings rather than understanding love and lust, it is indeed wonderful and what is a better way to explore it than poetry? Thank you for your dear review, Richard! :)

[Richard🖌]

Well, Kajal, what can i say?
It's simply a pleasure to be friends with you, sharing your excellent poetry … hugs 'n smiles! ⁓ RJ

[jacob erin-cilberto]

like that song says..."what i thought was love it must have been lust"
ah, Santana..."I'm winning"

and often with love we think we are and then we get a rude awakening...someone else won, and then
moved on to look for a new game.

nicely done...

j.

[Crimson_ish]

Sometimes we lose ourselves in different versions of love, mistaking one for other and forever dwelling upon the right decision, it is terribly tricky, I agree with you, I am glad you liked it :)

[B.Burgeon]

It makes me ask myself, how do I know if it's true love or true lust? At which point to they delineate or do they?

[Crimson_ish]

For long we have thought of Lust and Love as two disparate entities, 2 bodies whose forces repel each other, but maybe, Lust is begot of a form of love, Lust is a powerful emotion, and such power could be found either in Love or Hate, so to certain extent, maybe lust and Love are complimentary, but when Lust excels a certain limit, it starts to crumble Love, that's when we get our distinction, you know?

[B.Burgeon]

Lust to me is when I find someone who is absolutely perfect emotionally and physically... in that fleeting moment or series of moments. It is when those moments string together in duration long enough that a corrupt sense of Love arises whereas True Love develops slowly with the realization and acceptance of imperfection and perfection both emotionally and physically that both bring together. It's about duration, loyalty, honesty, communication, loving criticism, friendship woven together in a harmonious twist whose outcome produces Unconditional Love. Love is a force that comes from both people forming a team; lust is a force that comes together, usually abruptly, and within a short time dies heavily on one side leaving the other hanging on to false hopes or lust for the other.