Dont shout at me

Dont shout at me

Dont shout at me

If I get things wrong

I know I am not as good a cook as you

You were taught by your mum

You have cooked for us for almost sixty years now

I only came in the kitchen to help you

I can boil egs and make drinks

But I havent cooked the meat

Or baked pies for us

You always said to was your job

And the kitchen was yours

I often wanted to give you a helping hand

But no the kitchen was your domain

You were the house keeper the cook

And like those before us

No one else was allowed to muscle in

Now you are unable to stand too long

I am expected to cook like you

But witout the experiance or being taught

Dont shout at me

Just a few words of help

And a bit of praise when I DO!

Get something right

Wild Rose

September 2019

Reviews

[Chris Shaw]

Oh my, I feel the frustration here. All I can say is that any help at all I am given in the kitchen elevates my spirits. If someone cooks me a meal, I'm on cloud nine. We all have our areas of expertise, I can't fix a broken washing machine, he can. He can't sew I can. It's all about helping each other out. Partnership isn't it?

Chris

[Wild Rose]

Yes Christine
Just that she has been unable to do much cooking for a while
I know she likes to make nice meals for us
I have taken over - well not taken over - stepped in to make meals > But I dont have to experience to make things to her standard Dont shout at me

Dont shout at me
If I get things wrong
I know I am not as good a cook as you
You were taught by your mum
You have cooked for us for almost sixty years now

I only came in the kitchen to help you
I can boil egs and make drinks
But I havent cooked the meat
Or baked pies for us
You always said to was your job
And the kitchen was yours

I often wanted to give you a helping hand
But no the kitchen was your domain
You were the house keeper the cook
And like those before us
No one else was allowed to muscle in

Now you are unable to stand too long
I am expected to cook like you
But witout the experiance or being taught

Dont shout at me
Just a few words of help
And a bit of praise when I DO!
Get something right > Also it is a new oven and seems to be hotter than the old one
I an boil eggs make good salads > Oh and make Jellies and trifles
Can make buns not cakes or pastry for pies
I can sew (a bit better by hand not machine) can knit (no pattern required)

[Chris Shaw]

Maybe she can direct you from a sitting down position if it's about timing etc. It must be frustrating for her too because I bet she wants to be able to do what she's good at. You are letting off steam and that's good, but you need encouragement too or you won't improve. I think you need a chat over a good bottle of wine :)) Your poem will have universal appeal.

[Wild Rose]

All things smooth today
Yes I know she is frustrated But yesterday she struggled to bring a three wheel walking frame from the garage (All offers of help refused) We bought it a few months ago - before the electric scooter and self propelled wheel chair; But the frame ran away from her Now she is controlling it
Also we went through a drawer with lengths of material in skirts blouses & shirts are on the cards
Sewing machine now installed on the dining table opposite my computer > I will have to measure and cut out whatever
One year she made three shirts while I as at work
Then brought them out on Christmas Day
We found some suit material > So I could get a safari jacket again

[Chris Shaw]

Easy does it. You are both in new territory. Take your time and keep your sense of humour when all else fails :) You are on a learning curve.

Chris

[Wild Rose]

All smooth running again now

[Chris Shaw]

Good to hear :))

[barleygirl]

I have 8 older siblings, most married multiple times, & in watching their antics, I came to the conclusion that I would never marry (which I didn't). My five older sisters are terribly bossy & picky, yet they complain that nobody ever helps with household chores (hubby or kids). Of course nobody does . . . it's impossible to live up to critical standards accompanied by nagging chorus! I love that you write about the things most people sidestep or whitewash or flat-out lie about, when it comes to human nature. You don't write about people in a critical way (which would feel grating), you just shine an unvarnished light, a perspective I very much enjoy! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Wild Rose]

Thanks Margie> I have-had two younger sisters (Margaret died at 59 in new Zealand)
I /we were lucky in our choice of partners (we do have words - who doesn't) but we want the same things - in a way nothing has changes - cycling turned to fell walking - now she is in a chair/electric scooter we still travel in our camper
56 year married now
My sis (now also in NZ) lives with a control freak - sis cant have her ow n email he has to read all her posts - not even the GB womens athletic team manager ANN was a National coach for sprint and hurdles at 20 yo. and for 12 years was the fastest word wide in the womens 100m hurdled (but done during training/ development runs with no competition >> I was told that they are still using a video taken during the trials (1960 ish) as a coaching aid
They came to stay for a week > We wont let them stay again = he was kicked out of hid brothers and uncles
Our son hasn't found a lady who he feels comfortable with yet
He is a Warrant Officer in the Air Training Corps (ATC) & takes cadets to events and fell walking
Also flies in a friends ex RAF fighter jet trainer to air shows
All his lady friends say that has to stop .. Bye

I am beginning to understand you better now

[barleygirl]

Thank you for sharing! *smile*

[augustus]

I do all the cooking in our house. If there is one thing that does annoy me if someone comes in and begins to lift lids and start sniffing.

[Wild Rose]

You would get slapped wrists for that or sharp words
I am just taking over when she is not up to it

[Gee]

Jeepers, best get hired help in young fella then make out it was all of your doing.
Seriously hope things settle down.
Good morning

[Wild Rose]

No hired help > She is slackening the reigns
We discuss what/how to do things now

[Gee]

Tis how it should be. I'm preparing a roast dinner at present, love cooking.

[Einstein Noodle]

i can so relate to the boundaries of the kitchen .. very simple ... she owns everything within them ;} all i have to do is hesitate in front of the stove and she is in on me like a mother hen .. forcing me out ... and before we joined forces i cooked for myself, 4 children and gramma when she became ill .. (my wife died at a very early age) so for the last 12 yrs i have been with an Italian lady who cooked for her 5 children and husband (until he became very abusive) and will never give up that control .. i do get to peel potatoes tho :} oh well brother .. we are subdued and conquered it seems .. might as well enjoy it ... however you are finding yourself in a bit of a different situation here ... called to cook .. but defeated before the patty hits the pan :( i am praying for you my friend .. and your Ms. .. she sound like a firecracker :)
E.

[Wild Rose]

Oh Yes! I knew that the kitchen was her domain before we married. She was called to help her mum when needed just trivial jobs > Mum and dad worked in the estate Elizabethan Hall where the use to have servants House keeper who saw to all the buying (except for food that was cooks domain) Dad was gamekeeper Chauffer He was allowed into the kitchen by cook because he could provided game birds for the table

My wife is getting a bit immobile so for some time I have been called to lift hot/heavy pans in /out of the hot oven, but now she has problems of standing at the kitchen work tops > For baking we have a caravan table - the correct height to sit and work at _ Now I seem to be getting more cooking jobs
Any way she has now agreed that I am inexperienced at cooking and gives advice > Even apologised saying she expected to much for a start

Oh yes she is a firecracker > She has an electric scooter & drives it like a rally driver around the super market when its quiet - In one crowed shop the other day (we were being held up by some slow able bodied people) A chap tried to pass us and stepped in front of her - The foot rests stick out - he stepped in front the foot rest caught his ankle. He wobbled and said something she just said wish people would look where they are going he caught my foot rest as if it had hurt her Later she said I think it really hurt him - teach him a lesson not to push past in a crowded shop

[Einstein Noodle]

i would hope he would get a clue ..surely it hurts banging the back of the ankle like that ... especially if one is stepping forward .. so ..nice shot to your wife says i! i am sorry for her difficulties ... a fine and noble thing for you to step up in the face of fire ;))) i love to cook .. i make things up as i go .. got pretty good at 20 minute meals for 6 ... lots of stir frying .. (made me own sauce) for a while all kinds of cheese cakes ... best one was orange with orange zest sprinkled on top ... all the world to you guys today and everyday :))))))))))

[Wild Rose]

The walking aids have given her mobility we can go on longer walks (for me) If she goes at full speed I cannot keep up & she can spin it round in it own length (Slowly)
We both used to be racing cyclists > then fell walkers
Oh and she is giving me more slack reign in the kitchen

[Einstein Noodle]

mmmmmm racing cylists .. you must have many memories ... it takes a lot to race i imagine .. do you and old racing friends get together now and then .. off the course? sounds like you are squeezing the most out of those walkers my friend ... good on ya says i! we get to that point where it is not working hard to grow but to preserve and extend everything as it most surely defaults .. a piece here a piece there ;))))))))) but gotta love it anyway right!?

[Wild Rose]

Yes lots of training > between 300 & 700 miles a week + a full time job and Technical college work all year round
When we moved here (only ten miles to the nearest hill in Ennerdale) we were on the fells tops every weekend even in snow
Then she began to have dizzy spells when descending so we took to walking round the lakes (25 miles round some) Then she needed sticks & later a chair
She has an electric trolley (5mph & 20 miles range) she drives it like a rally driver > Well after a racing cyclist 6mph isn't so fast
She is our navigator

[Einstein Noodle]

i think i love her ... :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Perhaps simply the frustration of finding that a domain she protected for decades is no longer hers, might make someone profoundly unhappy as they consider mortality and independence as slipping away. So easy for us to take umbrage and feel slighted when often such outbursts are not about the target but the person who fires the hollow shell. Like this honest verse as it exposes real life in it's raw and natural surroundings.

[Wild Rose]

I know the JA McFadyen
We have been married for 56 years now
I know she is frustrated & she knows I am trying to do better

[John Alexander McFadyen]

56 years is a goodly innings together and little surprise that sometimes there is a little tension in the dressing room as the teams consider the batting order!