Counterset > Prize giving

Extract from Birth of an empire The dog events involved The dos guiding the sheep through various obstacles - crossing a bridge, through a gate, a marked sheep had to be removed. enclosed in a Fold

The Prize giving

Gail heard some loud shouting then a huge cheer.

 'What was happening?.

The other came back whooping with excitement, Elizabeth   

and John and their four dogs. were with them.

When they came to Elizabeth's prize of

 first and second again  

 in the one dog event, she had also won first prize in the two 

dog event. They told Gail of the prize presentation and the 

announcement of the engagement, they said Elizabeth had 

stolen the show

It took quite some time before the announcer could continue

As they were presenting her prizes, 

The announcer asked about her family

"I hear that your family have gone to work in a mill in 

West Yorkshire"

"Yes they left to join with a wealthy entrepreneur, in a new

 venture; they are providing the practical skills,

Their is a stand showing a new range aimed at ladies, 

My outfit is from the range"

She was wearing a shooting jacket in Olive green with a faint

 light grey mist, and skirt in a flecked brown with the same

 mist overtone

John came up from behind the group. 

He reached for the announcers hailer.

The spectators hushed

"Miss Elizabeth Worth, I am not a rich man, 

I cannot afford a diamond ring"

"Oh"

"So I have made one myself at my anvil"

"Aw".

" Miss Elizabeth Worth, 

You told me I had to learn to handle a dog, now

 I think I have achieved that command, now,

 will you accept my blacksmiths ring,

Will you marry me?"

" Cheers"

Elizabeth took the loudhailer

"Mr John Ward,

 If I accept your offer, you will have to learn to obey my commands"

"Oh"

"Yes I will wear your blacksmiths ring, with pride, I will marry you"

"loud cheers"

"Here is my first command. Pick up those cups and follow me"

more loud cheers. 

John picked up the two cups 

she reached and patted his shoulder

"Good Boy

" The crowd went ecstatic

"Walk on; Away"

Then she waved her hand to the spectators as they left the arena

There were numerous requests to see the blacksmiths ring;

 most expecting to see a large rough, effort. Instead it was a

 neat, thin, black band, with an all over, smooth round finish

, no rough edges at all

Author's Note

This didn't transfer as it should have

Reviews

[barleygirl]

I see what you mean, about the line breaks. That's frustrating for a writer, so I won't say more. The best part is your dialogue . . . most marriage proposals are standard variations on a similar theme, but this is truly outside the dots. I love how she tells him he must obey her commands (dog-like). Your dialogue is strong as it conveys the warmth & playfulness between newlyweds-to-be.

It would be nice, at the beginning, to add an extra line or two to explain that this is a dog show & to add a little about the different events you name. You dive right in like we know what's going on, but we don't. A little later, it might be nice to add another two or three words to identify "the range" (an ambiguous word) as being a collection of wool garments from the wool mill where this guy works.

Glad to see you back & posting some new material! I hope you & your wife are doing well (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Wild Rose]

Thanks for the constructive comments
You won't have sheepdog trials in the USA; like they have here in the UK, where the dogs follow a course with obstacles like gates; bridges; select a marked sheep out from the flock (of eight I thnk)
Then put them in a pen.

It is from a long chapter split into sections
Some bit like this brought tears to my eyes (Im stupid) & one where one of the young girls was injured & her widowed mother said "What would I do if I lost you. You are all that I have now"

I found a reference to my family textile mill in a Youth Hostel in the Yorkshire Dales - they owned a shooting lodge - more a large country house > It said they were good employers with consideration for the workers

[Wild Rose]

We were unable to go out > So this has filled my time
Oh yes the woolen garments - earlier the girls had said they wanted colours more suitable for ladies
They do all the yarn processing from raw wool, dyeing, weaving and finishing > The girls got the colours then made up some female garments on their home (treadle) sewing machines
One of the (The office manager) was given a 'walking machine - or hobby horse - a walking bike)
She got fast in her long skirts & took them of on the office @ OO Miss Gail" and had some 'bloomers' made

[barleygirl]

I very much enjoy your stories & your shares that explain your experiences in this trade & in the society that goes along with it! One of these days, I was thinking, I should write some of my own specific experiences as a technical writer. Thanks for the inspiration! (((HUGS)))

[Wild Rose]

Oh yes when I get to the rag and bone man. collecting old clothes - sort the best foe their kids read moreOh yes when I get to the rag and bone man. collecting old clothes - sort the best foe their kids
Rags to go to grind down to be mixed with decent quality wool to make cheaper cloth

[Wild Rose]

I am quite sure your experiences would make into good reading. How you are/were treated when you live in a wheelchair

Going round a crowded super market - A posh looking gent pushed past - we couldn't go ant faster for the people in front. He cut sharply in front. Pam had her footrests on; sticking out in front. He limped out much slower limping with one leg

[Intothemilkyway]

Interesting dialogue and proposal.
But it didn't quite capture my mind into reading it,i had to force myself.
I like the setting but i think the use of words would have been perfect into another scenario.

[Wild Rose]

Thank you for reading it >Sorry >It is an extract from a long chapter in a book that I am attempting to write
The families had split (Oh the 'Industrai Revolution') som head moved to work as managers in a woollen textile mill with two families of younger people remaining to jeep the farm and blacksmiths going
John and Elizabeth had called the families home for their intended engagement and country show
The 'mill people' put together a stand for the show
The two engagees were also taking part in the Sheepdog trials. Elizabeth took top marks (again) and John won the newcomers section Hence they were on the stage
They had chosen to announce the engagement at the show >>> They were both well known in the area > John the blacksmith & Elizabeth a Charted accountant
Martha and Arthur had an engagement do later during the opening of a new project at the mill
Farm and mill are 150 miles apart > No telephone; cars railways, post was hit and miss

Thanks again for reading

[Intothemilkyway]

Interesting story. Keep it up my friend. :)

[Wild Rose]

1t is set in 1830(ish)
Another thing is that I am saving it as an, ODT files
These will up load to another writers group with my formating
here it is changing they way I have set it so it is a bit jumbled
I will keep adding extracts as I go along

[wordman]

sounded good to me,good chapter

[Wild Rose]

Thank you
Sadly it is too long to post on here
I have 15 PDF files and hope to be finding a publisher > Oh the time is Circa 1850
A hill farmer and Blacksmith leaving the Yorkshire dales to

[Wild Rose]

help build up a textile factory. Leaving son & daughter to run both businesses (4)
Already had a floor collapse in a neighbouring mill, rescuers from around and a mines rescue team
They found smugglers in the empty mill and came across a group of conmen
No TV Cars mobile or land phones mail is hit and miss

[Wild Rose]

That is what I have been doing when locked down
Some parts I have had tears as I was writing

[wordman]

you will find a publisher

[Wild Rose]

Thanks > I am beginning a follow on