Fairytale Crush

Across the circle I stare
could he even know I'm there?
Deep brown eyes sparkle with laughter
the joy we share and I ponder our ever after
not Cinderella nor Snow White
but our own destiny, our own plight.
Thoughts of how the story should go
magickal beings and clothes to sew.
All this a fairy tale, just made up myths
Will I scare him after all this?
or maybe a chance, could it be
him and I turn out a "we"?

Author's Note

stupid..and stupid again... but I figure WTF...might as well

Reviews

[Wildecat]

I didn't think it was stupid. We all have ambitions and dreams what's wrong with that? Nothing is wrong with that. You're to hard on yourself. I liked this a lot.

[theair]

I'm in love with the first line, but I think the second kind of detracts from it. It just feels like a forced, sing-sony rhyme...

This isn't "stupid," and I don't think you should regard it as such. It has its moments. I love the contrast in "magickal beings and clothes to sew," although there is no 'k' in magical. The last two lines read like they could be lifted straight from a-- well, a fairy tale.

I'd drop "deep" as the adjective to describe eyes. That's something I'd avoid like the plague. (It's overused; it's cliche)

I can see talent here. I think it's scratching its way out.

write and cope
theair

[SweetPeachesAlways]

I love that last line or two....yum! Magical beings...so poetic..the waxing and waning of emotions, the fast-paced flow and rhythm of it all...very nice write! Great job!

[Silvia - Scribo, Ergo S..]

Ah ... forever the same question, since the dawn of time: he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he ...

And always the hope that HE/SHE might be not just Mr. or Mrs. Right NOW, but Mr. or Mrs. RIght (as in forever) ... Nothing stupid about that. Love and the quest for it is the one driving force of the universe, arguably the only one that is stronger than hate. xxx