Untitled

Its something that just flowed out of my mind one day. I'd appreciate some proper review. Please and Thankies in advanced

So close your eyes and wish upon a dying star.
The city is still burning with neon fluorescent  lights
To behold the wonders that once defied who we are
Oh  - the night is painted with memories that glows with such might

And I just wish we could go back to a time
Where it all doesn't matter
And you could have been just mine
As the heart keeps beating and mutters between the lines
"This love has torn me apart"

I keep thinking of the things that I've done wrong
Long have I debated to justify my cause
My courage has been designed to fall apart
Dreams are born to be shattered and break hearts

And here I stand with blood stained hands
Despair has been cutting my veins and I can't understand
Why the lights can't be turned off  
His lullabies have been haunting me from the start

As the memories force tears to drip down my cheeks
I wonder if there is some fate to what's happening here
The dark skies begin to fade and the walls are closing in
There's nothing left for the little girl who once lived here.

Author's Note

Go on and don't be afraid.

Reviews

[child-of-promise]

I've noticed that a lot of your poems have a lyrical quality, like I can literally hear them being sung and not all poems are like that, so props to that!
I sense so much yearning here, to fix mistakes to go back to the way things were. Ugh. It's good.
Again, though, I'll suggest using some punctuation (semicolons, commas, dashes, there's a whole array). Punctuation in poetry really helps create meter and rhythm, but it's one of those things people forget to use, y'know?
Still, a great poem. :)

[CureThePoison]

Thank for your review! I find it quiet helpful actually.
And I guess I'm one of those people who find grammar their sworn enemy xD I constantly have trouble with it so I guess I'll be playing around with this one till I figure out what I'm doing wrong.
It was about yearning, it was about fixing mistakes, but now I'm at peace with myself. Its actually one of my old writings and the beginning of the "lyrical style" I've been using.