A Society of Lies

Happiness is so easy to get! All you need is a simple pill and you're life will be great forever! Unless it doesn't suit you.

CHAPTER 1: Thoughts of a pointless girl

The book is done. All the pages have been read and 100% percent memorized by every last part of my brain I could muster to do so. I have recognized the cover and back cover in a way that I could never do with the real world around me. Although there is one question I still ask myself all the time, one that could be compared to the old Germans’ ideology during the intermission between the wars.

Why is everything in our life so miserable?

It doesn’t matter what you do, how you do it, who you know and you don’t know. Things have been turning to crap ever since humans were conceived.

And now they’ve hit the peak of their atrociousness. The one thing that keeps us living is now on its edge of death. So close to slipping off forever that never again will we breathe fresh air and swim in nicely blue oceans. Or eat finely cooked food with a lack of infection. Or waltz through lush green fields without a care in the world.

I suppose not caring is what got us here after all.

I tend to believe that the Happiness Pills were developed just to make the government’s job easier. For them to say that their jobs weren’t actually jobs and instead were just side ideas that were too obsolete once everything was said and done for them to really do anything.

Some countries got upset when things went to s**t. Most of them didn’t care. They just continued with the pathetically easy going and selfish life they’d always lived. Why would they question something that would take away their luxury?

I understand why they wouldn’t, I used to hate doing things that were too inconvenient for me also. Like when I had to go to my brother’s classroom to get him and we would walk out of the school to my mom’s car. I didn’t feel like it, it was inconvenient and so I forgot. I had to walk back to school later on that day and carry my brother home for six miles to get to our house. Even though I wanted to kill myself the whole time, I still did it, since it was my punishment.

That’s the thing about this life, this living earth, this solar system as far as we can tell. There is always a terrible punishment for pretty much everything. All that lives will be hurt and tortured in some way. Even something as simple as bacteria is punished. Its job is to feed on and breakdown the garbage left behind by nature. You could say that’s not so bad, it was made to do that. But what about human garbage? It can’t breakdown that! In fact, humans are a plague to ALL of nature.

Funny question about that: Why are we here? If we do nothing but hurt this precious planet and destroy its ecosystem, then why ARE we here? It’s not a question any of us can answer. Scientists and religion think they know the answer. But as far as I can tell,  it is all complete bullshit. Does a God really exist? If so what kind of a total sadist is he? Or them? Also why would the evolution of nature put such an ultimate destruction upon itself? Is it because nature has completed its course, and now it needs something to end it all? Something to be the zenith of everything that’s been accomplished? That’s the only reason I can think of. Why else? We only destroy everything and we help nothing.

I mean, excuse me for being wrong. There was that period of a couple of decades or whatever where society DID, in fact, boost the ecosystem. That was a miracle of happiness, so I was told. It was the best time to live. With everything so prosperous and joyful. Things were totally balanced and worked out well.

I wish I were alive at that time. But alas, I couldn’t get so lucky. I got the bottom end of the stick. The end that says no, you’re gonna be here. In the time period nearing the very end. The end of everything. The period where the earth is on its last legs and quickly falling down.

A kinda period where the entire world, no matter where you are, is black and grey. Any colours you see are only bright for a short time before the reality of what it truly is kicks in. Not that it all matters, since they developed the cure.

I have it right here, on my desk. A gallon of white and blue pills. They’re incredibly small and easy to swallow with some water. I mean, the water itself is contaminated but you don’t need to focus on that. Just focus on how much better it is when you digest that succulent pill.

Everything becomes so much better! The colours are actually bright again! People you talk to have interesting and nice things to say! They’re happy! They’re crying so much because they’re happy obviously. No other reason to cry besides being happy! You love everything and nothing hurts you! It’s the life you’ve always wanted!

Right? That’s how it has to work out right? Of course.

Anyways, I think too much. I wish I could be retarded so I could live happily. Or I could just not think at all.

Oh yeah, it’s time for high school kick off. Oh boy.

CHAPTER 2: Kick Off for more than just high school.

I enter my mom’s car with my brother. He looks at me, really excited with his pink backpack and red beanie on. My mom is also really excited with her happy face and blue jacket. Her purse is near her in the middle armrest, ready to purchase our new school pe clothes and planners. Money is a fake fortune I like to tell myself. Although no one agrees.

We drive through the streets of my neighborhood. I attempt to look at the streets and the houses and the people walking. It’s all so sad looking. Dark colours, the dogs starving and the people talking about divorces, rejected novels and art pieces that’ll never be noticed and job interviews that didn’t go so well. I take look at the pill in my hand. My nails are too long. Isn’t that how girls are supposed to have it? Along with exactly the right kind of skinny body, large breasts, light skin, blonde hair, thick thighs and a large bottom? I believe that’s what the news articles say.

I heard that the news at one point in time tried to stop this. They wanted girls to actually be themselves and they were accepting that would be. Hah, that’s a joke nowadays, isn’t it? That was too hard to break from their self-produced norms and so they had to come back to the original ways at some point. I mean, it helped that the girls themselves wanted to go back to the original ways. We all have some kinda masochistic love inside of us. We don’t want the pain to end, we don’t care and we love it. That’s why it all continues. That’s what I think anyway. But I’m stupid so don’t listen to me.

I put the pill away. No, not this time! I wanna try to get through this kick off on my own! The true natural and down to earth way. Isn’t that the best way? Eh, it won’t matter. I have a plan anyway. Seeing all that this earth really is without a false lens over it…. It confirms my true plan. It’ll make me happier I believe. And not the kind that they sell for too little.

I don’t think my family agrees with me though. That’s ok. They can continue with this all if they want. If that makes them Happy.

We arrive at the school. Many other families are there too, walking with the looks of total Happiness on their faces. My mom tells me to take my pill. I say that I will and she gives me a disappointing look. That’s normal coming from her. She doesn’t appreciate what I do and go through. When will she? Never. I don’t care. It just hurts is all, don’t worry about it.

We go into the school, entering a line for the first station. This is where you get your I.D. for the year. Every kid gets their face photographed. They all seem so Happy while taking it. The pictures go down in history as Happy ones. So that historians can say we all lived Happy and not sad. Nothing to worry about.

I get my picture taken, but in order to do that I had to eat the pill. I took only a quarter of it when the photographer wasn’t looking. It tasted like crap without water. But the effects wouldn’t last as long with only a bit. I looked a bit happier, and felt better. My face was taken and I received my I.D. and so did my brother. He comments on how he looks Happier than me. I say it’s alright, and we move on. I wanted to say that I enjoy his Happiness more than my own. But two things stopped that from happening. One: he doesn’t care. Two: I can’t really say that since his Happiness is utterly fake. Can you even love an idea that’s false in every way?

Next is the buying station. Mom gives us some dollars to buy our planners and pe clothing. We get in line. Some friends of mine come over to us. They say things like hi how are you and how was your summer and what classes are you taking and how excited are you? They all seem so happy. My brother gets along with them more than I do. I’m forced to join into the conversation and act happy along with them. I really really don’t want to but if I don’t act Happy then they’ll immediately cut the friendship and I’ll be alone again. Moreso than usual. It hurts just to smile and act like my summer wasn’t lonely and painful and totally regretful. Filled with all the things I could’ve done and would’ve if I wasn’t too much of a goddamn p***y, sitting in my room reading books and trying to escape this life. My brother did more than me and he got a novel of his published. He threatened to kill himself when he realized it was a poor company who published his book and one that no one would notice. He put his whole life into that book and that was all he could manage. That’s when he started up more on the Happiness Pills. Just like my friends. All containing something wrong that they’re covering up. What else would you do?

I hate this, standing in line with my friends. I’m not like them. They’re happy but I’m not. But I forget, that’s illegal. You’re supposed to be happy.

I look around at my school. Everything’s so damp. The grass is dying, and the wall paint is coming off. Just one dose of Happiness would make this place seem like heaven, just like everywhere else. Just one simple dose and all the pain and opinions and rejection and negativity will be gone. So easy!

Right? I’m not wrong am I? I know I am.

My brother and I pay for our stuff and we follow mommy to pick up the pe clothing. The boy working at the station isn’t on any pills either. It’s obvious. He’s got tried tear stains on him and he’s listening to music to try and calm the pain. He has no choice but to work here most likely. He gives to us our shorts and T-shirts. He looks at me and silently pleads for me to take his job. I shake my head and he starts to cry and looks away. I’m sorry….but we all suffer here. My brother and mom don’t even notice. Perhaps my dad would’ve. He was too good for this world. That’s why he was shot after going shopping that one-day last year. He thought to help people made the world better. It only made him vulnerable.

Final stop, the textbooks room. It’s in the library. Families walk around, picking out their new tortures for the next year. All these books WILL be memorized by the time the year’s over and if you don’t then it’s to the streets with you.

We pick out our books according to the schedules we were emailed on our home computer. They’re heavy. My brother and I each have five. We thank the librarian who hates his job and smokes too much. We exit the library and I fall down the stairs to the quad. A textbook hits the back of my head and the back of my leg as I land. My brother puts his books down and helps me up. My mom just watches, commenting that I should’ve just used the Happiness Pill and I could’ve paid more attention. My brother offers me one of his Pills but I refuse. I grab my textbooks, trying to ignore the tears in my eyes. I move onwards, feeling god awful pain in my body with each step. My friends watch and laugh at me. I’ve made my decision. I can’t wait to get home. It’s a nice home, perfect for my plan. I actually smile at the thought, a genuine smile.

CHAPTER 3: Here’s the plan.

After we get into the house and situate everything to get ready for school on Monday, my brother tries to get me to take some Pills. He says it’ll help me. I say no not yet. He says I was a mistake unlike him. I agree with that and so does my mom. I go into my dad’s old room that my mom’s in the process of selling out the contents of. I search hopefully through the underside of his bed. There it is! I pull out a sleek silver pistol. Its barrel shines off of the light in the sky that comes through the window. The handle is a nice brown wood. My dad had this for intruders. He said also that if I wanted to make myself happier, I should use this. But only if it was the last straw.

Seeing the future ahead, I think I wanna do this now.

I make sure my family doesn’t notice me. Not too hard. My mom’s watching a show and my brother’s listening to music. I could walk in front of them and they wouldn’t see me probably. I head down the stairs and towards the outside balcony. The glass of the doors are wet with mid-day rain. I see the drops outside, creating a stained and ruined world that no one can fix.

I slide open the door and slip out. I close them again to lessen the impact of the noise I’m about to make. I hold up the gun, letting it get soaked along with me. The rain actually feels nice against my skin. So simple and innocent and with no cares in the world. I wanna be like it! I wanna join it so bad! Let me be reincarnated as such, please!

And that’ll happen. Or anything else.

I  hold up the gun to the right spot on my head that my dad told me to put it to. Thank you daddy, I love you. I close my eyes. This’ll be better than some pills right? This all isn’t worth it if you are lying to yourself the whole time.

I hesitate for a second. This’ll help! That’s what I tell myself. All my family members will soon follow, bless their souls. I should thank society for creating a device to allow death so easily. One of the good things they did I suppose. All this brutal work for absolutely nothing.

I stop worrying for a moment just right.

I press the trigger.