once again

bloody

once again i lay in bed..

tears running down my face..

my friend comes in and askes ...

what did you do now,,,frantic in his voice..

he pickes up the pill empty pill botttle,,

he picks up the knife coverd in blood.

as i say to him,,,

thanks for all thatyou have done for me...

now is my time to say goodbtye...

i do not belong here..

i belong some place else.

with my last breath..

i whisper to you...

i will be watching over you...

this is where you belong..

and this is where i belong..

GOODBYE!!!!

Reviews

[Julio]

Sigh... The incredible amount of grammar, spelling, formatting, structure and narrative mistakes is ridiculous. I can't take the poem seriously when it looks like you've typed it with your eyes closed and up-side-down. Fix your mistakes (start with capitalisation). It's unfair that you pump out 'poems' several times a day and get loads of praise for it, and then others like myself spend days working on one piece of writing and don't get any reviews, let alone praise.

This, I'm sorry to say, is an extremely shoddy and lacklustre attempt. Where's your structure? Why is there no consistency? Why haven't you even bothered reading it through once? And why on Earth is it being praised so much?

5 for effort, 20 for the execution. Next time, if you can't be bothered to check it, don't publish it.

[Cree Nations]

Aside from the errors, which compound the sadness, it is a fairly decent write.

[selkietales]

Quotes? It's asks, not askes, and I'm not sure why you said "he picks up the pill empty pill bottle." Is he picking up a pill or a pill bottle? Otherwise, very nice :)

[Coyote Poetry]

A sad poem. Separation by death leave a empty spot forever. I like the honest and direct words in the poem. Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote

[Pencrafter]

Besides being tragic and depressing, your poem has stark imagery and deep emotion. It's easy to read and the lines are simple, which is good for my simple mind. Also, the bright red font exacerbates the sadness. You do have a vivid imagination. I hope it's just your imagination and not reality!

[Mak Goalie]

this was uber beautiful.........

[Mak Goalie]

wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww..........thanx for writing such a gud piece.........il love to make it a page in my diary

[Spice]

this is how i really feel this whati sometimes wish would happen....