Dervish

I have been restless of late. Disquieted by this life and longing for my college days. Not because they were particularly great. Oh contraire! I yearn for the sense of release I had found during those days, when restless and unable to sleep, for my quiet place, where I let loose the pent up feelings and emotions that bind. Where I set myself free and quieted my mind.

In the wee hours of the night I would cross the campus to the theater building and make my way to the dance studio. There as I had so many times before I would dance with utter abandon. Till exhausted I collapsed under the skylights. Released. Unbound. Free.

Now time has progressed. I am not as young and nimble as I used to be. I long for the freedom of expression through movement that my body once obliged me. For that yearning, that desire to explode from the inside, to open myself wide to the glory of my soul, a whirling dervish spinning towards heaven. And sometimes late at night that call still beckons.

Reviews

[Horizon K.]

I don't dance but I do love and appreciate it... I say, go dancing!!! But anyways, there are other things that strike me here... The need to express, physically, there is something so raw and human and required about that. I express my emotions in my poetry and my fantasies in my stories, but physical expression leaves a different sort of feeling. And this restless feeling is also an affliction of mine.. I have a few poems about it! This comes with force and slowly dissipates... Maybe it's just being a woman...

[DCT ponderings]

Yes I fear it does come along with being female. I am woman hear me roar! As youth it presents as anxiety, later insomnia and hot flashes. ;)

[Horizon K.]

Yes, I think it's hormonal!!! Sigh....

[TL Boehm]

I love this pondering. I sometimes think this is my favorite form of writing when a writer just puts a bit of introspection up without the cloak and dagger conveyance of fiction or floral poetry (although I'm fine with that too)
that desire to explode from the inside, to open myself wide to the glory of my soul, a whirling dervish spinning towards heaven.
Found that especially wonderful.

[DCT ponderings]

Thank you TL. I love writing like this from time to time.There are some expressions that need to flow freely without the constraints of rhythm and rhyme. At least for me.

[Keith]

Superb piece Dana. I think thats a longing in all of us, so well articulated.

[DCT ponderings]

Thank you Keith. I think this is definitely wisdom gained with age and time. :)

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

You know, I have felt this way as well. This restlessness, at least in my case, I believe comes from age and the responsiblity we acquire through the years. During college, I was madly stuying, preparing, looking to the future; now I am in that future and looking back on those times passed with a certain sense of longing nostalgia.

The last line in this one was amazing, my friend. Well done.

[DCT ponderings]

Boy do I relate to that! I too have been bit by nostalgia and found myself looking backwards to a time with less responsibility. I didn't not quite understand or fully value my youth. I was too busy living. Mind you I won't return for anything. But there is freedom of expression I found through dance that is now relegated to my dreams. Good thing I have a full imagination. Thanks for reading.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Oh, I so relate to this...if I could go back, even ten years, I would value each and every second instead of always dreaming about the future.

[DCT ponderings]

Yes indeed. One of the cruelest jokes maturity plays. If only we could travel back and tell ourselves to live fully in every moment as if it were our last.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

So funny, my grandfather (who just turned 86) says this all the time...if only I could go back and tell myself the things that I have learned throughout life...haha

[DCT ponderings]

It would expedite our evolution. But then there would just be something else to learn and wish we had shared with our younger self. It is a never ending cycle.

[An owl on the moon]

I could feel such a power in these emotional connections... that freedom of dancing delights that still call to you... Somehow we must find a way to breathe that wonder again into your heart and soul.. It's simply too beautiful to ever fully let go.

[DCT ponderings]

That my friends is what poetry and art are for....even when my body wouldn't take me there my mind still can. :) Thank you.

[An owl on the moon]

Can see you dancing now... :)

[DCT ponderings]

And dreams.....I just watch the Magic of Belle Isle last night. Morgan Freeman's character Monte is a writer in a wheel chair but even he moonlight waltzes with Charlotte.

[An owl on the moon]

Oh, I love the description of that.. and love anything Morgan Freeman is in! Thank you!

[DCT ponderings]

As a writer you would enjoy this movie. He has lost his voice, no longer writes. But he meets Charlotte and her three daughters and his Muse returns. The romance between them is tenderly woven.

[Noehm Strawhair]

Helplessly remembering the release past days bestowed. We do that when we have trouble? Or just because we yearn youth? If we recall them so much does it mean our life has reached its climax? Or the climax were really does days we are recalling? Thank you so much for this profound reflection. I really enjoyed your writing!!!

[DCT ponderings]

I think I can only truly yearn for youth because of maturity and age. And I have definitely not reached my climax. This life is an ever growing ever evolving state of being. Unfortunately sometimes my body's memory forgets. :) Thanks for the review.

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Ah, the whirling dervish spinning towards heaven...still love to dance...though my over the hill body is not as agile either for modern. Splendid read and write.

[DCT ponderings]

Thanks Brandon.