A Poem by Sarah Jane

Soiled shirts, muddied with work
Another hole in the dirt
Gathered grief surrounding hurt
Where guilt and obligation lurk

Hurried goodbyes, on the clock
Another ramshackle walk
Buried hope enclosed in a vault
Where closure comes as a shock

© 2020 Sarah Jane

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I love the way you paint us a word scenario that's vivid & specific, yet it's also loose & open to interpretation. There are so many ways people spend their lives under someone else's thumb & your poem can be read to encompass each different way this happens. I love how your rhyming is also loose, with near-rhymes that feel like song-rhymes (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 1 Year Ago

You know this is truthful, very well said and written

Posted 1 Year Ago

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Damn I love how your rhymes work so well, without ever seeming forced. "Another hole in the dirt" is just straight up brutal, so starting with this immediately draws your reader in. "Buried hope enclosed in a vault," is also a great image... we can instantly connect with that, hope that is now gone forever. Very touching piece, well done.

Posted 1 Year Ago

Sarah Jane

1 Year Ago

Thank you for reading.

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3 Reviews
Added on May 16, 2020
Last Updated on May 16, 2020


Sarah Jane
Sarah Jane

Tallmadge, OH

Lucid Lucid

A Poem by Sarah Jane

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