This Winter

Modern relations

This Winter has aged me

And you,

Like ice off the tarmac,

Are gone.

 

We clung too closely, being cold,

And clashed.

 

Although I have shunned you

I look

At every passing bus

For you.

 

I hoped to bring joy;

For you

To melt to my caress

And me.

 

Spring came bright and chill.

I find

The floor-tiles have cracked

Apart. 

Author's Note

The second of my old break-up poems. Not sure I'm going to publish any more.

Reviews

[Mohammed J A Shah]

You seem to have a talent for misery Khan! ;)
I had to read this plenty of times to get the message, but when I finally did, it was a shocker. That must have been one big break up. Every emotion felt by a person who has lost someone dear is hidden in this poem, screaming out to be noticed. Great work.

[Daniel Eaves]

Haha, thank you Mohammed (though it sounds like a dubious talent to have)!
We have to slap ourselves afterwards and realise that ice doesn't belong on tarmac, and for good reason. Then we can move on.

[S.C.]

I love this. It is well written. it had strong emotion and is portrayed really well in this poem. Good job.

[Daniel Eaves]

Thanks S.C. Much appreciated :)

[S.C.]

You are Welcome.

[Great Aunt Astri]

Yes, it may be wise to leave those old cracked floor tiles for a while. I thought it was rather a good poem, though.

[Daniel Eaves]

Thank you Auntie Astri. I have an alternate proposal though: rip 'em up and put some new ones in!read moreThank you Auntie Astri. I have an alternate proposal though: rip 'em up and put some new ones in!
Life is, after all, too short to be skirting around the cracks.

[Sanober]

A great look at the emotions that follow after a break up. Loved the use of the bleak winter scene as a reflection of your broken heart. Sometimes winter seems to share our desolation. Really well written...Wonderful job on this poem.

[Daniel Eaves]

I'm sincerely glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for stopping by.

[Miles W.]

Great job man! Really enjoyed it, rhymed well, and it also expresses your emotions in a way that the audience can relate. All around good poem.

[Daniel Eaves]

Thanks Miles :)