A Poem by Dakota

For Jake April 1982-September 2006


We Still laugh about it

Now and then
All the good times we remember
Telling old stories
Playing your songs
But we never bring up September


Sometimes it's hard
To just ignore the shouts
And the horrid things people say
But I remember how
You used to just smile
Saying "It's their American way."

And no matter how bad
It got for you over there
Nothing ever got you down

We tried so hard to cling
To that attitude of yours
The day we laid you in the ground

Most will never really know
Just how much it takes
To protect their freedoms to live
Strangers pay that share
And more sometimes
Giving all that is in them to give

So we'll gather again
And toast a round
Praying your memory will always linger
We'll tell all your old stories
And play your old songs
But we'll never mention September

© 2010 Dakota

Author's Note

This is my first poem EVER so I'm sure there's a lot wrong with it. LOL

My Review

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Your poem is great. Poetry is all about exressing youself; pouring your ideas out onto the page. Great write.

Posted 13 Years Ago

This is truly beautiful. Rhyme is hard to do, but you did well with it. You have talent.

Posted 13 Years Ago

well the rhyme scheme is off from time to time, but overall i thought it was great. it;s kinda sad, but i like how u r remembering the great times u guys had! Wonderful write! ^^

Posted 13 Years Ago

AW! FANTASTIC for your first.

Posted 13 Years Ago

You have talent. Line breaks quintessential to identifying a flow and
these line breaks are perfect. the underlying tone and the secret of september hold the readers a in soft suspense. although the paragraphs need spacing. the depth and absolute subtle power is amazing.
enjoyed the emotional craft you've delivered. I'm looking forward to reading more from you

Posted 13 Years Ago

You've let you talent for poetry lay dormant if this is just your first poem Ever. I definitely like it as something I can relate to. Kudos on successfully gripping me out of boredom with your poetic words.

Posted 13 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Poem is very good. A lot of internal story in your words. A lot of people pay with their life and hope with their time serving and protecting others. A powerful poem. Take time to repair some losses in a life. A excellent poem.

Posted 13 Years Ago

1 of 3 people found this review constructive.

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37 Reviews
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on June 6, 2010
Last Updated on June 8, 2010




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