Social Survivalist

In the words of Marsuvees Black... "Wanna trip, baby?"

Let's take a look at the facts.

We're somewhere between the white and the black.

The fine art of "crash and burn."

I can teach it if you're willing to learn.

 

You must know I'm not perfect.

I'm a nice enough guy on the surface.

But name a time and a place.

You can't see the snarl that's twisting my face.

 

I'm counting each and every step you take.

Waiting for even the slightest mistake.

If you cross me check your back for a knife.

It'll look like the one that you left in mine.

 

Am I monster? The jury's still out.

I want to tell you what it's all about.

You build it up and I'll tear it apart.

Rules were made to broken and so was your heart.

 

Let's take a look at you now.

Not all of us can make our mothers proud.

The fine art of "live and learn."

You lit the match I just like to watch it burn.

 

Haven't you ever been wronged?

And long to rebel when you couldn't belong?

Have you ever had enough?

And deign to hate those who betrayed your love?

 

You're not the villain but you're no hero.

Turning into someone that you don't know.

Shadows on the face you once recognized.

This is life but you won't make it out alive.

 

So take a walk on the dark side with me.

Evil for evil, embracing the envy.

The good aren't so good they just hide their doubt.

And bad guys end up with the girl anyhow.

 

Whatever I do you've done to yourself.

Whatever I do you've done to someone else.

None of us are perfect, we can't all be right.

Survivalist or sociopath, we're all the same tonight.

Author's Note

Less than perfect, the flow was a bit off in places and I don't think it really "crackles" the way I wanted it too. Thoughts?

Reviews

[R J Askew]

First thought is a personal reading, almost of what I was thinking as I read. Your poem made me think of how I am as I read. I often wish I was tougher and more attuned to others. I mean well but get nowhere. This is a bad survival strategy. I plod on through life, never quiet failing and never quite succeeding. This is a bad strategy also. But what must we become to succeed. Another option is to withdraw from the fray. But I think the best option is to take all the hits of othres, to come through and hope you are still yourself. Then, when nothing matters, you can move forward to your real destiny, maybe when we are about 60. Who knows? Life will always surprise us somehow and if it doesn't then we are... What?

[R J Askew]

Damn it. I am counting they syllables now! Actually, sod the syllables, you were not counting! So to the form. Quatrains with rhyming couplets, but not rigidly so. It didn't matter for me that not all full rhymes. The content kept bossing my thoughts i.e. I really like this line: The good aren't so good they just hide their doubt. I was trying to check out the form but the content definitely keeps drawing me. That is great as the content counts more than poetic artifice. How we say things is importnat but what we say is all. OK to sharpen it ... start counting syllables and try and shorten some of the lines with 10+ syllables.

[R J Askew]

Hmm, I never go to the second thought on the form. But does that matter? It is the content that counts above all and the content got me thinking. I don't think counting the syllables wld help much.

[DiMar4u]

That last line was gnarly dude. Thanks for sharing!

[Corset]

I think it crackles just fine the way it is, wonderful write, well said.

[Bats In The Belfry]

Sinister and dark...love it...felt the pool to cross over and give into debauchery. Mr. Marks I am in awe of your genius way of making the reader feel like the character.

[Perfect Mistake]

Ahhh im totally jealous cause i cant rhyme things at all, or for it to sound good. But you make it sound amazing :) I loved the story that went along with the poem. Good job :3