Starving We Spread (Poem)

Starving, we spread

Through unlocked doors we rummage

Dawn is ahead

Fill the pits in our stomachs

Hygiene a low

False confidence a high

Further we go

Self destructing our lives

Pain for the pleasures

Of accomplished failure

We're here for each other

And that we make sure

For freedom costs plenty

In this system we live

So onward we struggle 

As 16 year old kids

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Being homeless is difficult. We learn to appreciate the simple things when we have nothing. Thank you for the powerful poem. The strong statements create a vision of trying to survive and struggle. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote

[Damien Davison]

A majority of my time being homeless as a youth was difficult for sure. What made it easier was the fact that there were 4 other kids the same age as me out surviving with me most the time. So many homeless youth... Thank you for reviewing.

[Deron Alexis]

the stories of street kids really makes me glad for this roof over my head makes me wish i could save them really well captured in this piece well done

[Damien Davison]

Thank you for reading, I should sometimes think back and remind myself to be thankful.

[Wesley Dingler]

NICE

[Damien Davison]

Thank you!

[Sabrina]

The best thing about your writing it that its not superficial its completely real all those emotions are so well expressed, you have a great talent

[Damien Davison]

Thank you again, it's easier to write it when it is real!

[Ees]

Wonderful.
I loved this poem!
I didn't love, (though didn't hate either) the solidity of the last stanza. I just liked it left without putting a specific time-frame on it. But your words were eloquently stated!
The third and fourth stanzas were my very favorite part.
Wonderful work!

[Ees]

"We're here for each other
And that we make sure"-
was also really great. I have seen this and know that it is a real part of it.

great job!

[Damien Davison]

Thank you, I felt adding the age of us would add more drama. Kids not even age of majority living the streets, starving, breaking the law to survive... Thank you for the review, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[Ees]

I know that there are kids out there homeless. I have never been homeless, but when I was young I had friends who were who I would still hang out with, I saw the pack that they moved in, protecting eachother, some were not even teenagers. I personally believe that you held all of the drama in the words written wonderfully above that. There was power and drama in every inch to the point where age seemed unimportant because the existence was what mattered.

But that very well could be just me.
Great writing!

[New Dawn]

friendships are so much more intense at this bridging age between chilhood and adulthood - our friends are our family and the only ones who understand what we are trying to communicate.

[Damien Davison]

Yea, that's how I felt at the time. And we all shared a tent and the struggle so it made it that much easier to communicate and whatnot... Thank you for the review.

[Larry Dyson]

nice clean flow, and retains image of subject thruout...details and sincerity are good. would make a nice introduction to a longer prose /story...using the same topic and adding dailys for a week and 8th day repeat.. what do you think?

[Damien Davison]

Hmm.... I actually think that is a good idea, mind you I don't really have the time to do one daily on most days, but to continue it in parts is a really good idea, thank you.

[Larry Dyson]

a writer like you should have a tape recorder or note pad for every day thinking. just sayin.

[Damien Davison]

Wow, you seriously just made my day. That is about the best thing someone has said to me in a really long time. That really meant a lot, wow man, seriously thank you.

[David Lewis Paget]

Coming from a good home, I've never been able to understand why kids take to the streets and turn their backs on parents and families. It wasn't part of my universe, though your poem certainly opens doors. Good job,
David.

[Damien Davison]

I appreciate the review, I plan to make more on the subject, in time. Thank you!

[mandy]

wow, demien, that was a powerful poem. you describe all the feelings so well, and i can understand the importance of the 4 other kids, your pseudo family. actually more of a "make do" family. glad that you survived it...good write..

[Damien Davison]

Thank you, it wasn't without doing some dishonorable things that we made it through. It definitely felt like a family, we called it a 'crew'. That was years ago though. Thank you for reading.

[KT]

Awesome piece, very intense. I like the sort of twist you have at the end, where you reveal the starving ones to be 16 year old kids... Definitely makes one think, which is always good! Keep up the awesome rhyming. :)

[Damien Davison]

Thank you for reading and enjoying my writing. Heh, didn't even seem that crazy back then. But now I look at my brother, him being 16 himself now... I think, holy s**t, I don't think this kid would survive. Though he's only half... I'm rambling.

[KT]

No problemo! And that's okay; I don't mind rambling. :)

[MachinaWriter]

This was a very powerful piece. Reading this, I think you'd really connect with two of my own poems specifically. One is called I'm Okay, the other is called Concrete Cave. Both of them are about being homeless at a young age. I really felt a connection to this poem, and you do well at describing the emotions that go along with this kind of thing. Very well pieced together. Thank you for sharing this.

[Damien Davison]

I`ll be sure to check those pieces out, thank you for the review. I figured I`d reach some people, there were and are and will be a lot of homeless youth.

[MachinaWriter]

True. Very true.