128 Lines of Life - The First 64 (Poem)

This is the first 16 stanzas of a 32 stanza poem processing life...

Concieved

A dawn, the beginning

Gathering strength

A process revealing

A kick

A warm heart

Light in a father's eye

A new part

Right in her soul inside

Unexpecting

No choice but to step in this world

Could have left it

A choice to be left in to this world

Is it selfish

To bring it out and raise it in this life

Just can't help it

Assured the choice they made was right

The birth

The pain 

For the years of joy to come

They sacrificed a lot

It's worth it, now a father and a mom

Unexpected trials await

The child, it's fate

Rests in the hands of these untested 'soulmates'

The screams through the night

Bring the demons to fight

No this team's not alright

There's no f*****g end in sight

Products for babies

The prices are blown up

Good luck with the saving

Impossible to even think of education

Then all of the sudden

The little footsteps are running

Filling hallways with peace

Only needs a little loving

The attention it craves

Costs nothing to give

Potentially graved

Now this is a kid

Just love, a bit of guidance

Now learning speech

Growing up, one up in size and

On their feet

Shaping a personality

Now is time for them

No f*****g drugs can overpower that love 

It dies for them

Then off they go to the beginning of their education

They start wondering why this world filled with so much f*****g hate and

Treated like a slave those other kids are kicking their a*s

Just because they are smarter, or simply cause their lacking in class

Then the ones giving out the beatings are being abused

They go home and get it from they're parents, in the end they lose

Already being affected by the lyrics 

Of the artists they listen to

And take in every word they're hearing

Reviews

[John Alexander McFadyen]

12th stanza spelling of personality wrong. A very good work describing the uncertainty of taking on the responsibility of children and their growing up.

[Damien Davison]

Silly 's' slipped away from me haha, I've since fixed it. Thanks a lot!

[Baby Ricochet]

Great poem with some interesting insight

[Damien Davison]

Thank you I'll be posting the second half today!

[}Echo{]

I like this, it's really cool. :)

[Damien Davison]

Thank you!

[}Echo{]

:)

[LamentedHaven]

I'm not usually into poetry that has strong profanity, but this is a breath of reality for a lot of people. There is a lot of anger, sadness and scary premonitions to get from this.

[Damien Davison]

Thank you, that means a lot!

[Broken Soul]

A well written poem, I loved it, but in line 48 the word "f*****g" stops the flow, for me at least.

[Damien Davison]

It's supposed to be a rap, so with a beat is sounds good. Thanks for reviewing!

[Broken Soul]

A rap.. I would have never known ^.^

[Damien Davison]

Haha, I'll post the audio up in a couple days for it

[Damien Davison]

I rap along to Eluveitie - Selton

[MachinaWriter]

A chronicle is what this is, man. Right from the moments of birth and upwards. I like this idea, very interesting and well delivered. Can't wait to see where this life goes next.

[Damien Davison]

It goes 64 lines to the end, that's where! haha, thanks man!