Time (Poem)

A poem about time.

Twisting the branches that provide 

An inconvenience to your stride.

You reside 

Within time...

But is time but a lie?

Human devised?

Just confusing our minds?

To structure our lives?

No wind to our chimes....

Play-stop-rewind. 

Turn back, I've tried.

The wings that I ride,

Paint ashen grey skies...

So in order to rise,

I must color my life.

Let go of this hold,

Kiss measure goodbye...

Reviews

[YouoweYoupay]

The ashen skies, and silent chimes, all those thoughts that rise and fall and rhyme, The beginning was painful but it pulled me in. Your words are beautiful, I can see them and feel them. Keep writing.

-youoweyoupay

[Damien Davison]

I appreciate the review, and thank you fo taking the time!

[KAOlmsted]

I'm grinning a bit, because you call the piece "Time" and then, in the description, you tell us it's a poem about time. Made me smile. Anyway. It's a good piece. I often wonder at things we just accept as the given, like time. 24 hours in a day. For everybody. The entire world. 24 hours in a day. Seems somebody, somewhere, would have questioned that. But no. We all accept it. There have never been any wars broken out (that I am aware of) to fight this tyrannical insistence upon 24 hours in a day...why not 36 for people in Brazil, or 18 for the people in Moscow...24. The world over. No more, no less.

I have no idea what my point is. I'm pretty sure I was trying to tell you i liked the piece ;-) Thanks for sharing it with us.

-kimmer

[Damien Davison]

I appreciate the review, I get your point, which is kinda mine, just that we made this up, just like a fork isn't a 'fork', a rock isn't a 'rock', that's just what we call it thinking we understand it. Such as 'time'.

[KAOlmsted]

Yes! Okay. Good.

[scripted]

nice write...

[Damien Davison]

Thank you :)

[DoNt LoSe YoUrSeLf]

This was interesting...to think what life would be like if time didn't exist and what if time is just an illusion? Something we think keeps us organized? Time provides structure in our lives, yet without it, we would be disorganized and off-schedule. I feel that sometimes, time is nothing. It's an illusion, but other times, it is there for a reason.

[Damien Davison]

Sure it is there for a reason, but there isn't REALLY seconds, minutes, hours, etc... Thanks for reviewing!

[Caitlin Lea]

I think your first two lines are the most powerful. Following that, the rest is LESS intense. Where the beginning inspires more thought and creates more imagery, the rest is a lot more straight forward. Not necessarily BAD, but it would be cool if the whole poem was more poignant. Good write, and altogether good imagery throughout. :)

[Damien Davison]

Indeed, that was my goal, the first 2 lines creating a kind of fantasy poetic feel, then get to reality.

[Damien Davison]

Thanks for reviewing!

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

TIme waits for no man, neither does death so do the things you want today for tomorrow is not a guarantee.

[Damien Davison]

The point of this one is time doesn't exist. It's just a human devised way of measuring progress. I agree with you, but at the same time to not have any plans for tomorrow and goals to work towards... Kinda leaves you in a rut. Not that it matters. Thanks for reviewing!

[Tex]

Masterful write. This:

But is time but a lie?

Human devised?
Just confusing our minds?
To structure our lives?

wonderful stuff. and this:

Play-stop-rewind.
Turn back, I've tried.

remarkable. I love the conclusion as well. This was a jam packed powerful piece.

well written my friend.

[Damien Davison]

Thank you very much, I appreciate the compliments! Heh, a positive start to my new year so far!

[Tex]

glad to help out :D

[Rob Santana]

Play stop rewind turn back I've tried. Many people including myself wish we can go back in time and redo or undo certain events in our life. For I accept and move on. Good write.

[Damien Davison]

Thank you, all we can do is accept and move on. I appreciate the reads!