Our Duet

Our Duet

A Poem by Lydia Jamison

Sing me silly,
And sing like you mean it.
I'm not kidding,
I love it when you do this.
Something about you
Makes me happy.

If you strike chords,
I'll write us a chorus.
If I feel alone,
You'll sing a song for us.
And soon we'll both
Be laughing.

Don't buy me flowers,
I prefer music
We can listen to together,
We'll always want to use it.
You make me feel
Alive.

Keep on singing,
No matter how you sound.
If they try to shut you up,
Turn the volume up loud.
Don't let your spirit die.

I've written out our anthem
In my favorite colored ink.
At first it doesn't seem like much,
But it's sweeter than you think.
This is better than
We'll ever get.

You're beautiful in every way.
You color my world,
And brighten my day.
I hope we never stop singing
Our duet.

© 2010 Lydia Jamison


Author's Note

Lydia Jamison
I've recently made some modifications. I think it'll make the poem a bit clearer and more composed.

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Reviews

I love how you've modified it! Your poem sings its story with clarity and sweetness. Great work. :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


I loved this poem! Just some friendly critiquing:

You might put something about you singing together in the title. It would let me know a tiny bit more about the poem.

I would also keep the last stanza consistent by finishing how music and singing draws you together. And you could still keep the phrase, "It's always you and I" as a finishing sentence. I just think that the last stanza of every poem is a conclusion, and you might want the same idea to carry through to the very end of the poem.

Last thing: I suggest you stick to the same number of lines in each stanza. You switch from six, to five, to four lines long. If you keep that consistent, than you might have a poem with more natural and poetic flow.

These are all just suggestions, don't get me wrong! I truly loved your free, happy tone and especially the first two lines in the second stanza. They made me want to hear you two singing together! :)

Posted 13 Years Ago



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218 Views
2 Reviews
Rating
Added on May 4, 2010
Last Updated on May 5, 2010
Tags: love, poetry, music, happy

Author

Lydia Jamison
Lydia Jamison

Huntington Beach, CA



About
Just a teenage girl who loves music and literature. Nothing more to it. more..

Writing