Dancing In The Moonlight

Everybody's dancing in the moonlight...

They took the long way home

On the night of their anniversary

To stop and smell the roses

In the middle of Central Park,

He takes her hand

And leads her into a dance

That's warm and full of love 

They don't need music

To dance in the moonlight

Because they stir music and desire

In each other 

As they sway to the beat within,

They look up in the sky to see

An orbit of memories 

Encircling them as they dance

The moon shines bright

As they look into each other's eyes

She smiles at him and says 

"I love you,"

He smiles with pride

And continues to dance

Because he had a surprise for her;

He reaches into his pocket

And pulls out a box, 

Could it be what she thinks it is?

He kneels down before her and asks

"Will you marry me?"

She says yes,

And they hugged,

And kissed

While dancing the night away in the moonlight

Author's Note

First attempt at creating a story within a poem. Please be nice.

Reviews

[...]

Story created- a love story. At first I thought those two were an old married couple, still in love, but when I read the marriage proposal part I could envision their love lasting that long. All the details come alive, and really paint a picture. This poem touches the heart.

[Sarah]

this is amazing. a very good effort it is canching in the firt line...

[Berto]

This is a good effort. I can visualize the scene, it reminds me of something like a scene in the film 'stardust'
Keep it up

[Caitlin Lea]

I like some of the imagery here, for example, "They look up in the sky to see/ An orbit of memories/ Encircling them as they dance" That is a nice picture.

My only complaint is that sometimes the tenses don't match up. You say "They TOOK the long way home" (past tense) but then say "He TAKES her hand" (present tense). I think to make a more coherent poem, it needs to be all past tense or all present tense.

Overall, a sweet little poem. :-)

[Brittni]

For a first attempt, I love it. I thought it was so sweet and the story played like a song I could listen to again. Again, your writing power is very strong at a young age :)

[Desmund Tiny]

I love it....... ^^, the sweetness made me feel good.....

[EMF]

I won't be nice I'm afraid, I'll be honest. It's terrific/ I love the simplicity, the sweetness, the form and the flow. It made me feel good, and has left me with a smile on my face. I loved it.
And that's the honesty.

[dreaming dame]

:) It's beautiful! :) Love it. :)

[Just Me]

very nice. worded wonderfully

[Harp]

ahhh central park. loved it all.

[brenda]

aaaaw!:)*sigh* how cute!!! love the poem !:)