Unintended

Spoken word

Spinning in circles, going nowhere; jumping hurdles; gasping for air; seeking answers; not what it seems; empty promises; shattered dreams; careless whispers; racing minds; slow down a minute, you're going blind; things that matter, things that don't; people who'll care, people who won't; giving love, finding hate; hold my heart but please don't break; searching for truth; telling lies; lovers laugh; loneliness cries; counting good deeds; subtracting sins; keeping score; no one wins; pain filled moments; stolen breaths; longing for shelter; inching toward death; a loving touch; a long embrace; kissing lips; where is this place; hand to mouth; unattainable wealth; incurable disease; poor mental health; winners and losers; predators and prey...

 

I truly don't believe God intended it this way. 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Tania Leigh]

Dani, I've got to agree with my sister that the flow of this is excellent -- it is such a smooth read that develops a nice fast pace. You have some excellent phrasing here, and it easily causes the mind to ponder many things....a truly great piece.

[Blue Cavalla]

Great flow here and a wonderful portrayal of a messed up world. 'Unattainable wealth' is my favorite part. The rhythm builds up so well here at the end.

Blye

[Yvette Shaw]

Wow, very passionately written and heartfelt. This is definitely one of my
new favorites.
Yvette

[SPINNING ON that dizzy ..]

This is great - love the flow and the well chosen words. Like that when each one seems perfect - you have done that here. Almost in the flavor of Marvin Gaye's What's Going On? Going in my favs is all I know.....

Kath

[Angel's Lady]

This is so awesome! I simply had to capture it in my favorites! I love this! Truly wonderful write, Dani.

[Windy]

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT! Did I mention I LOVE it?? ;) I really like the format you put it in, it makes it so much "stronger"? How you managed to say SO MUCH, and still have flow and ryhme and just everything I have no idea but I LOVE it. SUPER, SUPER JOB DANI C., going in my faves.. a pleasure reading you.... ;)

[fireblossom]

"I truly don't believe God intended it this way."

Nor do I. We did this to ourselves I reckon.

Well presented...flow of consciousness. Feelings any thinking person must have...not easy to bring to paper however. The turmoil matches the dizzy whirl we are in as human beings...circling the drain.

[Poetic Injustice]

Mortal imperfection. *hug* =0)

[Seriana]

Wow girl...I haven't much to say, I think you said it all right here. This was awesome! I like how it all rhymed. The short good and bad of everything. Little promises and broken lies. What a clever little piece missy. You've got it going on with this one girl. :)

[Pleiades]

Wonderful Dani! The short lines are intriguing and really hits the message home. Very emotional, and very probing for those moments which we all wonder whether we are jsut simply destined to suffer. You have some very deep talent here!

[These Haunted Hallways]

WoW!!!! An unbelievably amazing poem that's so true in today's world. Every day, it seems that all we do is live with fear, lonliness, and despair. And, we are often uncertain of what is going to happen next in our lives. It's a constant foreboding feeling. You've explained it best in this little poem. Wonderfully composed :)

B.A.