Unveiling

 

Secrets talk amongst themselves

Keeping me suspended,

Longing to hold you

In the dark.  

 

Do you sense my shadow

Behind your eyes,

Begging you to see

What I feel?  

 

I whisper to your mind

Come to me,

Hoping you will hear

Where to turn.  

 

Unknowingly, you search for me

While I wait,

My heart beats faster

Watching you crave.  

 

Hidden under your skin

I stay warm,  

Your pulse exciting me

As secrets unveil.

Author's Note

This is one of those... 'out of nowhere' writes. Not sure... hmm.

Reviews

[Adrian K. Smith]

This poem, for some odd reason, messes with me. Perhaps it is the song that I am listening to right now as well, it is definitely the wrong song to be listening to while I read this...lol. This has that dreamy feel to it, not one of those little dream writes that we see here, but a sincere dreamy feel to it. There is an ethereal substance to it, that tugs in the dark - pulling - with softest unspoken whispers. This is truly an amazing piece, Dani... definitely going in the favs (I know that sounds so cliche, but I do not say it lightly)...

[jaime]

i relate to the longing...and the ache to be longed for. loved it.

[Scott W. Martin]

I would have to say that I feel inspiration behind this poem. It's very elusive, though not a bad thing, like I can't exactly put my finger on it. All in all I think it worked out well. It leaves me kind of feeling like the poem is implying that it's going to expose itself to me somehow, but then it turns against me in the end; and I loose to it somehow after having fallen into its trap.

[JadedSparrow]

"This is one of those... 'out of nowhere' writes. Not really sure..."

Fortunately, you dont have to be sure. Ill be sure for you. Fantasic work. Thanks for asking me to check this one out. I really enjoyed it.

JS

[Ralphy]

This is a wonderfully unique piece. It possesses some mystical features that wrap the reader causing them to ponder the meaning. The one line that actually creates that for me is "Hidden under your skin I stay warm, Your pulse exciting me" how powerful, and poetic.

[Angel's Lady]

Hidden under your skin
I stay warm,
Your pulse exciting me
As you unveil.

Wonderfully written! Right down to the very last words, each verse is perfectly in place...
Great job!

[Mysty Rayn]

I have chills. This is great. You have such talent for this to be and "out of nowhere" write. Great imagination and emotion.

[Bhavya Kaushik]

"Hidden under your skin
I stay warm,
Your pulse exciting me
As you unveil. "

Dani, this is AWESOME! I simply loved the entire feel and complex emotions behind it...
I got that dreamy feel while reading the middle section a lot but as soon as I came to the end, I found it more close to life!
It often happens with me too, when some words come from me only but after reading them I do think the same...But be proud of them! Because they are finally yours and so beautifully written indeed!
Great work as always...

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

Secrets talk amongst themselves Love this line, it conjures up so many thoughts. Those secrets just building up and up until they exploded are are revealed. Shall I snatch a phrase from the past and say, this is deep.

[ShadowWolf]

This one seems to come from the mind shadows and whisper to the reader. It presents a different image each time I read it. Interesting!

[BrightEyes]

I have to agree this has that dream quality to it; almost as if you've written whilst still dreaming.
perhaps it is that very quality that makes these my favorite lines:

"I whisper to your mind
Come to me,
Hoping you will hear
Where to turn."

"whisper to your mind"
there is just something about that line
something so intimate about a whisper
that brings the longing in this piece to life

Awesome write :-)