Penny For Your Thoughts

Penny For Your Thoughts

A Poem by Daniel Soloye
"

I wrote this particular piece also when i was fifteen This poem's from what i can remember is about people that pretend to hate you but love you and visa verse Full criticisms please

"
If I could have a penny for your thoughts
what would you say better yet what would you think
Would I be a millionaire whining and dining in riches
as the image of my facial being soars through the dimensions of your weary mind
but your shelled exterior tries evidently to block out your thoughts of me?
leaving me another sidewalk urchin trying to find a home or hope
Or would i be penniless suggesting that my outer being doesn't process or trigger a spark in your mind making you thoughtless but your warm exterior greets me with the most gratitude , love and kisses like an angel released for the gates of heaven planting seeds on another soul that's lost the war of life.
Now to re-iterate the opening line
If I could have a penny for your thoughts
what would you think?

© 2011 Daniel Soloye


Author's Note

Daniel Soloye
Ignore grammar problems , tell me what you think :)
For people saying it reads with an london accent
I AM FROM LONDON :-) Read and enjoy
Peace and Love

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

Very interesting. Very thoughtful. Very powerful.
Very short.
Which is good. The length of this poem makes it straight the the point yet it isn't cruelly blunt. And the fact it is a poem yet... not a poem... makes it very interesting and different.
I like the idea of not using full-stops to make it sound like a waterfall of words and ideas and sentences that somehow make sense as the fall.
I like the main idea about having a penny... or indeed, being penniless... because that is a main theme you have woven into the poem and you didn't do a bad job either.
In fact, you did an excellent job.
Ka Pai.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is a clever write. Weather it reads with a london accent or not, I found the idea intruiging! The anxiety and wonder towards how we are preceived in people's minds, and the swift, obscure references to hypocracy behind exterior warm welcomes. I liked what you had to share. Keep writing.

-youoweyoupay

Posted 8 Years Ago


"lost the war of life"

LOVE this line, so beautiful.

I love how you took such a simple, common saying and elaborated into in this intracy of thoughts and judgements based of others' perceptions and criticisms.

I love the way you weave your words to create images. So nice to read.

Posted 10 Years Ago


I like the way your poems make everyone think. It's as though you can put your own sources of power into them. Good job like always =)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Interesting and expressive, with some finely honed phrasing.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Intresting and powerful. A very short poem but very good. Good Job!

-SkyeBlanco

Posted 10 Years Ago


A great poem! Excellent job (:

Posted 10 Years Ago


a good poem makes you think or feel and a great poem does both.
Great job

Posted 10 Years Ago


I love this so much...I agree with this allot and it reminds me of many thoughts i have (: you truely have a gift and are great at exspressing your feelings and thoughts into a poem..

Posted 10 Years Ago


wow thats touching

Posted 10 Years Ago


geez..not much that I've been thinking rather than killing myself...idk...but this poem was so good...

Posted 10 Years Ago



First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1832 Views
44 Reviews
Rating
Added on December 14, 2010
Last Updated on January 11, 2011
Tags: Daniel soloye, 15, fifteen year old poet, with pain comes success, penny for your thoughts, penny, for, your, thoughts


Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Linger Linger

A Poem by Robin


Checkmate Checkmate

A Poem by OT