Thoughts

Looking into the mind

The wall seems unsurpassable,

No over, No under.

I push it, it flexes as if water,

Ripples move out in all directions.

 

I look closer and see shapeless shapes,

They move and shift within the wall,

It is I who holds this together,

My beliefs in self being vital.

 

The size of the shapes grow and change,

All carrying emotions,

All changing when focus given,

All totally self made.

 

What are these shapeless shapes?

I first realize the wall is my prison,

I then see the wall is held in space,

I then begin to take down the wall.

Reviews

[KWP]

Hey Daniel - nice words, it is funny because I have been pondering a similar thought lately ... the wall the wall, the wall we have made for ourselves ... we can meld t to be anything in which we want :)

I love the essence, personally I would steer clear of using 'I' so much i feel it detracts from the poem. I am left with a feeling of me watching you with the wall whereas I think you are aiming at an all encompassing poem.

Just a thought.

XX

[emmajoy]

' All changing when focus given, ~ All totally self made.'

The mind truly can and does create prisons.. and to and for me, you've described that so finely in your poem. The background colour to your words looks the colour of stone, perhaps your intention that it looks like a wall; if not, for me, anyway, it adds to your writing. Thoughts hover and alter, need sorting, need change shape to give life that impetus it needs. But one needs to think outside
self to understand. Perhaps?