Parlour Games

Set in the present, four personified human characteristics play a board game. A light poke at how we can be playing games in groups.

Parlour Games

The room: A living room, any living room, somewhere. There are two doors which lead to the room, one gives onto the hallway, the other into the kitchen, each is a standard wooden panel door, painted Isabelline white, thick with the brushstrokes of so many years of repainting; the doorhandles are fake crystal bulbs, exquisitely cut, with metal finishes. The walls are decorated with subtle wallpaper, perfectly hung many years ago, sublime; lavender blush white, perdu pastel pistachio green, and almost imperceptible gainsboro grey, in thick, wide vertical stripes rolling down to the skirting boards. The ceiling is pure mint cream white, sleek, perfect in its finish. The flooring an ocean of ceramic tile (see below).

   The floor is composed of quarter metre square tiles, glossy, polished, fluent, precious. They are Earth yellow, fawn, near ochre as their base colour, dressed in a wood pattern swirled into the glaze before baking, the wood pattern is a palette of chamoisees, siennas, coppers, russets and boles, hints of white, like ethereal waves floating on a gorgeous bronze sea. The room measures some six point two metres by five point four, and attains a height of some three point one metres where it gently caressed the edges of the ceiling playfully. The lighting is subtle, cosy, inviting, delicious, a lamp in the corner throwing its glory around the room and warming the...

 (Fed up reader)  - Get on with the story you pretentious idiot, give up on the tiresome descriptions, is this another of those explorations of scene where nothing happens in the end? We paid to see fast cars doing impossible stunts, explosions, guns, and the like! Where's the action? Have I got time to make a tea while you're droning on about shades of brown and white?

   My apologies, I understood it was just good form to set the scene. In the middle of the room there is a table, at this table are seated four people: Virtue, Stealth, Enthusiasm and Apathy. On the table are an assortment of finger foods, drinks, an ashtray, a dictionary, and a board game, a parlour game as they were once known. In the background a television loudly displays a reality show of the most vulgar people the producers could find to ridicule in public for a modest fee. Our protagonists are midway through their game, occasionally mocking the TV program. They are playing a game which consists of making words from little plastic letters on a board, and scoring points for their contributions.

   Apathy said to Virtue, "It's your turn again. What are you going to put down?", Virtue gently lay the letters on a free space on the board to form the word "Charity", which fitted horizontally into the gap by "Parity" which ran vertically, with a modest yet satisfied smile. She asked Stealth "How many points is that? It crosses a red square?". Stealth answered, "You get thirty-seven for that." Enthusiasm disagreed, saying in a short tone, "It's only seventeen points. Can you stop doing that, please. It's so obvious you're trying to get off with Virtue!". Stealth answered through sly eyes, "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention, I was watching this idiot here on the telly performing tricks for the nation, my mistake." Virtue added, "It would seem you keep getting your points and mine wrong all the time, and theirs also, but not to their advantage. Please play fairly or it's no fun. It's your turn."

   Next, Stealth sat staring at the board for a minute or so, then looked from his letters to the board for another minute, by which time Apathy said, "Get a move on, there's no Nobel Prize for a board game, for God's sake. Can you go or not?", Stealth answered, "I can go, I'm just not sure where to put it." Apathy sighed, and said, "This is really boring, I'm going to go any play shooters on my computer in a minute, hurry up!" Stealth finally lay down the word "Sygnoid", which fitted uncomfortably in a vertical gap, crossing the word "Shovels". Enthusiasm burst out laughing, and said "Sygnoid... I'm not even going to bother opening the dictionary for this one. What would that mean in your interesting world of invented words, this time?!" Stealth claimed the word was a scientific term for a swan foetus, at which even Apathy stopped paying more attention to the TV than the game and burst out laughing. Virtue chided him, "You can't go, can you? Again. Why don't you just say so rather than have us sitting here for minutes at a time, you're really spoiling this for everyone.", Enthusiasm added, "Remember when we played Twenty-one for noodles, and all he did was cheat, hiding cards between his legs on the seat, try to sneak noodles out of the jar when no-one was looking, or try to steal mine or yours when we weren't looking. You're such a bad loser, Stealth, it's only a game, they're supposed to be fun, not a life or death competition. It's my turn."

   Enthusiasm lay the word "Complex" where Stealth had attempted his last effort, and said "That's fifteen points to me. I'm watching what you're writing on the paper, by the way, and my column is the one with my name, not yours, so cross my fifteen points off your column. Thank you. Apathy, your go." Apathy answered, "I can't be bothered, you have my go if you want." Virtue said in a hurt tone, "Ohhh, go on, let's at least finish the game, there aren't many letters left in the bag, please?", he sighed huffily, "Okay, whatever...", and lay the prefix "Mis-" before the word "Deed ", thwarting Virtue's next move as she had planned to put "In-" there, so she had to quickly think of something to do with her six consonants and one vowel. Enthusiasm inquired, "How many's that worth... Hang on, Three, four, six, twelve plus double word, twenty-four! Not bad for three letters.", Apathy said, "Who cares, it's only a game."

   Virtue looked at her letters, at the board, and after about twenty seconds lay the letter "S" at the end of the word "Shoe", looking disappointed. Stealth rushed to lay the word "Xarque" perpendicularly across "Carrot", and became very annoyed as no-one believed it meant jerked beef, couldn't be found in the dictionary, so had to take it off and replace it with "Tarmac", which Virtue insisted was a trademark and therefore not acceptable either, at which point Enthusiasm asked him how he had the letters "X, A, Q, U, E, T, M, C", when he should only have seven, at which point he became angrier, and muttered something about it being a mistake, for Apathy to say "You are such a tosser, such a tosser, either that or an incompetent. How many mistakes have you made during this game so far? What a tosser...", Stealth looked at him like thunder, and said "At least my girlfriend doesn't have to prize me out of bed every morning from my sorry gloom, like Enthusiasm does with you." Which was a rather mean remark, and said in the way of a frightened animal lashing out before it's attacked.

  Virtue tried to calm things down by saying, "Well, just put a letter back, this one for example." as she randomly took one of his letters and returned it to the bag, "And can you go or not?"  Stealth lay the word "Team" to join the "S" of "Shoes", and triumphantly declared, "That's seven points for me!" Enthusiasm quickly lay the word "Zebras" across "Carbon", the "Z" landing on a red square, and mocked, "And that's, let me see...Thirty-eight points for me. How many'd you just get Stealth?!" Virtue said in an upset tone, "I'm not playing anymore, this is horrible as ever, thanks Stealth for spoiling a fun evening with friends. My boyfriend has just texted me and says he'll be here in a few minutes. And before you ask, there's no way we're giving you a lift home Stealth!". Apathy stood up, and said quite happily, "Oh, thank god! Is it over at last? I'm going to order a pizza. What do you want, Enth? Do you and GoodDeeds want to stay for eats, Virtue?", completely blanking Stealth,who appeard to be sitting fuming, writing rather rude words with the letters, messing up the game in progress so they couldn't have finished anyway.

Reviews

[Matt Sayer]

Interesting, very interesting! The opening joke is fantastic, and the personification of emotional states as the protagonists makes for some great subtle jibes at habitual behaviours. If I could offer but one suggestion, it would be to separate the dialogue onto new lines, just to increase the readability of the text.

Marvelous work Daniel! :)

[Daniel Sala]

Hi Matt, thank you for the positive comments, and I greatly appreciate your sensible suggestion about the dialogue which is very helpful.

[Delmar Cooper]

Creative, innovative and written without affectation. The numerous devices are seamlessly employed to the advantage of the story.

[Cryingkate]

UH......... OK YOU WIN ! I now like stories. I haven't even finished it yet and had to come and tell you.
It's brilliant originally creative.
I'm gonna start from the top again......... Wow you just made it fun!

Ok So now My Hubby Read it all to me from our parlor where our computers are and Virtue, Stealth, Enthusiasm and Apathy were all winners.

[Daniel Sala]

I am grateful that you have enjoyed this piece and have commented, many thanks.

[Cryingkate]

Our pleasure. It was a very fun read.

[Sami Khalil]

I love how you set the scene(s) with intricate details like a master of observation of every little detail and color and the fun aspect and then the main theme...Bravo...............

[Daniel Sala]

Most kind, sir.

[Sami Khalil]

Most welcome, sir...:)..................

[Danielle]

The first thing that came to mind in the beginning was how intricately the room is described simply by use of color, but the comedic relief was a definite need ha ha. I found the actually story reminiscent of Hind's feet in high places with the traits as names and I thoroughly enjoyed the modern world being present in what I sensed as an old world intelligence. Lovely piece! And I do agree with Joie that this would make an awesome skit/play scene.

[Daniel Sala]

Thank you (the over-the-top description of the room is poking fun at interminable descriptive passages). Your words are appreciated.

[Danielle]

Yes, its true that writers have a knack for talking about meaningless items until it has rotted on the page. I meant that the sheer number of colors described intrigued my painter side. But the humor isn't lost on me. :)

[Daniel Sala]

Hi, thanks, had to do a lot of Googling to get those colours...!

[Joiedevivre]

the first couple of paragraphs where you are setting up the room really did that for me. i saw the room and all the nuanced detail, which you described really well and very vividly, i liked that a lot. The comedic break there was funny as well and perfectly placed for the transition. I enjoyed the characters with their qualities as names and it was clever how you made them play scrabble while watching trash tv, it made for a good foil/ juxtaposition. Also the banter was very character appropriate, although Apathy might be better off called Annoyance haha! Overall, I think you have a great little Act here, if you expand it for a couple of pages more, this could work as a short theatre play really well!

[Daniel Sala]

That's ever so kind of you, really constructive and honest, thanks, and I'll bear your suggestion in mind.