i dont know anymore

I guess im falling apart again

all alone you sit and stare

waiting wanting and wishing...

you don't understand how its fair

that they smile without trying

every time you try it hurts

try again but the pain gets worse

does she miss you like you miss her

does she feel like she use to?

you see her and feelings stir

you don't understand what to do

ever second is more painful then the last

you want it over... done.... in the past

you want six feet deep

you want the last breathe

because of her you sit and weep

as you write "i love you to death"

her name is the last thing you say

as the air flow stops... you fade away

"to death do us part

to the very end

you stole my heart

and then walked away said im a friend

you know how I felt

how every time I saw you id melt

how every time I heard you

my world got brighter

I was in love with you

now im a quitter ... not a fighter

I hate that I needed you

I hate that I love you

I love you to death

you used that played it

now im fighting for breathe

and you don't care.. not even a little bit"

she gets the call and cries all night.

she did love you. she was hiding that in fear of being hurt again. see you didn't know she was abused all this time. used for her body and nothing else. she didn't want to lose you too but now your gone.

Author's Note

I needed to get this out

Reviews

[emipoemi]

.....and you got this out beautifully! Wow! Very well executed! The Muses were with you on this one. I love the imagery, the message, I can feel the want and the desire, and I pity that it's over. Every word stabs like a needle through the arm, but the pricking reaches the heart. That's how deep this is. I do have a couple of things to say in order to improve this:

- typos: "does she feel like she USED to"
"EVERY second is more painful...."
"I hate that I LOVED you" (I was a little unsure about this: is this supposed to convey that you hate that you "still" love him, or that you had loved him? depending on what you mean to say would affect whether you should take this comment or not.
"Breath" is the noun, "breathe" is the verb (on two occasions you write "breathe" when you should have written "breath".
'TIL death do us part" is the phrase.
- "done with" ....in the past ("done with" plays beautifully with "over", and that adds power to the line).
-"How when I'd see you I'd melt" (better musicality)
-"And then walked away/Said I'm a friend." (line break helps the musicality)
-"And you don't care....not even a bit" (musicality is better like this).
-The last stanza, although it's really well thought out, because it's in Free Verse, you have to be the most careful. Line break wisely, and follow the musicality (don't leave long lines like that, for we only have so much breath in our exhales to get through all that. Arrange the lines neatly, and let it flow with the musicality (rhyme doesn't matter, so long as you get the punch out).

This is otherwise absolutely powerful and profound! Well freaking done! Much enjoyed.

[Nathan Spark]

wow! thanks for getting it out.

[ScaredSilent]

Wow. This is beautiful. It's very sincere and almost calming in a strange way. Maybe how in the end you accepted your fate was peaceful. That may seem strange but I love this piece.

[Skyler Quinn Wolf Laws]

could u still help with poems

[amishra]

this is amazing.. you really said what you wanted to..