I on no account will experience that this letter has reached its distention by means of catching up with you. But, I’ve been thinking. (mostly of you). You were my first love -- still my only love -- Though no one else has hurt my heart or soul the way you did that day… Just two phones, one call, two broken harts. I will never understand why you called it off with me, however, I am learning to deal with the pain.
You and I seemed to have such a fun time together-- the long night talks, the texting walks. I had dreams --big dreams, too. Building a house, being published with you. Watching our kids grow up with the house in the tree out back. I’m sorry, each night I was stupid, nothing would do me but to fight. I was scared of loosing you-- in the end I lost more then you, and I’m sorry.
If there were a God, I did pray to him. I asked him you’d find someone better. Someone to protect you-- I see my prayers were fore-filled. You did find someone, (not me though) who made you happy--even though you still missed me. I sat alone wondering how we could have worked. Something just a little nuked.
I by no means blamed you for moving on, I would have done the same, if I had been you. I’m sorry we’re though. In my heart, a broken crack shall remain, just to remind me you just the same.
Such a heartfelt piece, and I guess because I could totally relate. The one I had the biggest dreams with broke with me on the phone as well. And it is hard to see all your dreams just shatter in a second, and worst of all, seeing the one you love with someone else. The pain could be felt within these lines. Stay strong. Hope.
I think so many of us can relate to the feelings here. The story does not stand alone as a work to me, but it does serve as an introduction to a bigger picture.
I felt your pain.
I just want the world to know:
V.V As for Kortni or rumors (flying) around this site... I'm going to have to say they are true. V.V I wasn't very nice to her. But I did love her. V.V I just felt like she was cheating on me... and I was told be numbers people she was... V.V I loved her so much I lost her to my hatred. V.V
I don't know if I feel like talking about this right now though... V.V (For all I know You could very well be Kortni herself) V.V And I don't want to say anything to make her scream at me or tell me to kill myself again, bc It's hard to kill something that doesn't have a life. :(
In the esecnce of it all, do not blame yourself. Everyone can take hold of blame, but the unneeded blame is what gets us down. Though the world continues, do not let yourself get hung up. A wise man told me this: "When the world is tilting, do not tilt with it, for you are sure to fall. Grab hold of gravity and keep holding so you do not tilt, for the depths of despair are what is waiting when you fall." I found a hidden meaning in this, that even if the world is roating, spinning on the outside of your mind, you can make it still on the inside. Even if there's a tilt in the axis of the earth, do not tilt with it, becomes falling hurts more than standing back up. Do not let yourself dwell on the pain, but take the strides to a better you. I do not want to sound cold, but the honest truth is that humans are proned to the inclinations of sin and pain and torment. Truly, you are strong and have this meaning of depth within to a greater limit than she knew. Let someone find that depth and make it a cherished memory. That depth is deeper than love itself, and that depth...Well, let's just say, if I was her, i would have never done such a thing if I had seen it. This was very heartfelt, and sincere. Thank you for the post.
Such a heartfelt piece, and I guess because I could totally relate. The one I had the biggest dreams with broke with me on the phone as well. And it is hard to see all your dreams just shatter in a second, and worst of all, seeing the one you love with someone else. The pain could be felt within these lines. Stay strong. Hope.
[WARNING!]
The syntax found in this manuscript of S. D. Blankenship's poetry could retain to disordered and/or psychopathic. Comprehend and examine at your own exposed thoughts. A number of words mig.. more..