playtime

hello again my friend are you well 

you have been locked away all these years 

how I have missed you so much 

you were the only thing ever there for me 

often I asked myself why am doing this 

things are bad lately really really bad 

I feel I have no where else to turn 

as I prepare to play once again 

wondering why this is my only option

probably just to say I still feel something 

inside I am hollow just a shell of my old self 

I feel no joy no sorrow all I am is nothingness

as I grasp you in my hand I remember the good times 

when it was you me the sink and blood soaked water 

my sink would run red and I would smile 

because I actually felt something 

what I would not give to be able to feel 

to be a normal human being and not this monster 

one cut just is not enough to satisfy me 

maybe one more would make me feel better 

two now where getting somewhere but still not enough 

awwwww the hell with it one more won't hurt 

three a sick twisted smile comes across my face 

as I watch the blood drip drop by drop 

yet it still is not enough so just one last one

four now I finally feel alive that is all it took

now I watch the blood drain from my arms 

mixing with the water running in the sink 

man I have not felt this great in years 

how I wish I could feel this all the time 

now as I clean up after my little fun time

comes the regret and disappointment 

looking at my new wounds wondering why 

asking myself what have I done 

what will people say if they found out 

would they even care probably not 

but today was the first of many 

cuz he is back to stay my only friend 

the razor has much more playtime ahead