Dying Day

Dying Day
This is a story for the broken hearted,
The Fallen Angels whose wings departed,
Though they tried their very hardest,
To pick up their halos piece by piece,
Wondering if this pain would ever cease.

     This is the dying day,     

My Angel’s heart so full of pain.
Watch now as they cry for me,
Their tears falling from Heaven in an Earthy rain,
Drenched by their tears I no longer see.

     This is the dying day,     

The day my heart shall cry,
When I am forced to say goodbye.
It’s the worst day of them all,
Watch now as I take the final fall.

     This is the dying day,     

See it in my glowing face,
As I forever fall from grace.
As I lay naked on the ground,
To the angels lost on Earth I’m found.

     This is the dying day,     

The day I kill my love,
So my love will finally end,
As I fall from up above,
It’s the day I find my truest friend.

     This is the dying day,     

The Bleeding Heart reborn,
As my broken wings are torn.
See this Fallen Angel I’ve become?
My heart forever forced to succumb?

     This is the dying day,     

Can’t you hear the Angels crying?
Their tears the softly falling rain,
The demons in ecstasy sighing,
Feeding off my eternal pain?

     This is the dying day,

Can you hear my soul’s screaming call?
Watch now as the Angels fall.
Watch them fall them one by one,
Fall into the scorching sun.

     This is the dying day.  

Reviews

[The Lovely Sound Of Cra..]

God, you're amazing.

I haven't seen some of your stuff in a while, but it still impresses me everytime I read it. You're really talented!

About the piece itself, it's very sad, but beautifully written. Love your metaphors and the way you express your emotions and feelings. Very strong piece that shows what you're really feeling and the pain you go through... aww... makes me wanna give you a "Cheer up!" hug... so I will. =D *hug*

Great piece and nice work! Keep it up!

[Vincent]

it's a greatly written piece, with a constant mantra. you remind me of myself almost. good work!

[Kimmee Jean]

Wow...its really good...i love it so much...you are a very grim writer though...you write alot in your forte...have you tried a lighter subject?...i would like to see your genius in a different genre

RISA JEAN

[Emily B]

When something decides to claw its way out, we're better off to let it . . . thanks for sending this my way.

[Natasha]

I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[H. A. M.]

This is weepy eye sad. Like I don't wan't to live sad. It's well put together and conveys a lot of anguish. In a pretty way though. Well done then.

[S. P. Vaporis]

how amazingly beautiful and vivid! this is one of the best pieces i have read by you! nice work!

[Natalie C]

This was truly a great piece, I simply adored the rhythm and the wonderful imagery that you used. Very powerful, filled with raw emotions, making me pause for a moment to reflect on a couple of things that you said!

Thank you for sharing.

[Roxanne]

Ok, as far as structure I agree with most everyone else, it should be broken up. But as for content,I can understand how this portrays how you feel, but there are much more original ways to say it than fallen angels and eternal pain. It's very over done. Sometimes its great but I'm sorry to say that this wasn't unique enough in the approach. I did like the line structure though, it made it a nice read. Thanks for sharing

[Leigh]

Damn!!! great stuff..really powerful

[Gary H]

This is well written by I felt could do with being broken up. I would have made stanzas and kept - 'this is the dying day' as a seperate line between them - possibly colouring it? or making the words a different size?

I guess because of the way you have 'clawed' it onto paper, the layout you have chosen represents what you wanted - so ignore me!

'Can�t you hear the Angels crying?
Their tears the softly falling rain,
The demons in ecstasy sighing,
Feeding off my eternal pain?'

That was my favourite bit.