A decent Price

Reaching into my chest

She pulled out my pumping heart

Then she ate it

Just like a sweet tasting tart

 

After licking her lips

Her smile was a surprise

Just before she reached up

And tore out my two eyes

 

Not yet quite finished

Grabbed my conscience and soul

And along with my intestines

Threw all in a bowl

 

Then muscles and veins

With bladder and lungs being next

Being constantly discombobulated

Was getting me real vexed

 

But when she went for my identity

She added a touch of real nice

Instead of just ripping me off

She paid me a real decent price

 

 

Reviews

[🌟]

Sounds like an online scammer with a cannibalistic passion! Except she tasted the goods before ripping you off. A somewhat shrewd shopper, though! Always try before you buy! I enjoyed the wit here, Dave. Very inventive.

[Dave Brown]

A true shopper's response

[Pestonjee]

She probably sold the identity off for a good price. I am told that was the tastiest part. You could have negotiated.

[Dave Brown]

I'll remember that next time after I repaired myself with epimorphic regeneration

[Dripping Chocolate Madn..]

Sounds like someone has a crush on you!

Dave and his entrails, sitting in a tree.
Slowly D-Y-I-N-G.

(Really hope you guys teased each other like that in school, or this joke plays... Totally different.)

[Dave Brown]

not even enough left to climb a tree

[Ana Papaya]

Perfect Halloween piece I would say.
I think we're getting close that season and this almost has that Frankenstein type feel to it mixed with Macbeth.

[Dave Brown]

will you be revealing your halloween inspired offerings

[Ana Papaya]

I have a few I might feature but with back to school and back to work I've not been writing much. I may have to schedule some time.

[Dave Brown]

K man

[barleygirl]

I really love this. It's so unexpected & weirdly gross but intriguing. Makes me want to launch my Halloween writing trend PRONTO! How can I bend my mind into the wild distortions your imagination can go? This is my 2020 Halloween challenge. You've set the bar here. Usually when a writer puts a "twist" at the end, it's never as twisted as the twist at the end of this poem! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Dave Brown]

I think she was actually a very nice Vampire and this was her way of apologizing for her uncontrollable urges

[barleygirl]

A very nice vampire with uncontrollable urges? I can't believe you'd write about me without telling me first!

[Dave Brown]

HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa would you have paid??

[barleygirl]

HaHaHaHaHaHa yourself!

[John Alexander McFadyen]

That's what you get for telling her 'dinner at eight'! A rather eviscerating piece of humour that leaves the question as to what she did with the unmentioned parts!

[Dave Brown]

perhaps best the unmentionables remain unmentioned
Had to google eviscerating (duh) I am sure I have never used that (among many others) word
Have a pleasant aft.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I am assuming you got 'Dinner at Eight' Dave?

[Dave Brown]

( huh)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

My comment;Dinner at ate!!

[Dave Brown]

you have to remember who(m) you R dealing with

[Chris Shaw]

Oh my oh my Dave. You do mix in strange circles :) This reminded me of a female Hannibal Lecter without the chianti :) I D theft sounds easy in comparison to the alternative here. Happy Wednesday, and to your muse too. Where will she take you next?

Chris

[Dave Brown]

good aft Chris
It must be the heat, we are getting some late summer scorching and it is doing strange things to the people around
Our slug total mounts,
I never realized what active reproduction capabilities they possessed
Hope all is well

[Chris Shaw]

Don't talk slugs and snails. Dirty words for a gardner. All good here:)

[Dave Brown]

( heh )

[MantaStyle]

I don't really understand the undertones of the story and would appreciate and explanation. Also, what's a touch of real nice?

[Dave Brown]

On the offhand chance that this is not your subtle way of telling me that my poem/s (?) is hardly worth reading, let me say that our two styles of poetic presentation appear to be as widely apart as possible and while yours appear to be competently serious efforts to create quality pieces, mine are mostly seriously unserious, with very little to no story undertone, mostly done for the concept of frivolity, which is sometimes appreciated and quite often not.
My mind continually steers in this direction and 95% of what I write is meant only in reasonably rhyming fun.
'Real nice' is one more of many examples of badly used English that I feel, fit best in particular spots
Thankyou for your interest

[MantaStyle]

I'm really sorry if you thought that as i do not think nor wish to imply that your work is not worth reading. I'm just sometimes with odds at reading some poems as it's hard for me to pick up vague messages and often ask for an explanation from the writer.

[Dave Brown]

I am not offended
hope I cleared things up