A Chapter by Dave Brown



When I saw her

She just walked bye

Not a glance my way

Didn’t even try

I watched her pass

A gorgeous butterfly

But she turned to look

Just at the distant sky


Then she vanished

Out of my sight

What I’d done

It wasn’t right

I’d wronged her

A thoughtless slight

And had extinguished

The bright of our sunlight


When I’d done wrong

She'd left on that day

And has since ignored me

Having gone the fool’s way

To her I’d now become

A nothing castaway

But in my heart

She remains locked away


© 2021 Dave Brown

My Review

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Okay, first of all, I really like how you blend the imagery of her being a butterfly and being a woman, at least to me. Why would a Butterfly walk? It's a woman. (I caught the "bye" that was clever. You couldn't have said/explained that she was actually leaving in fewer words than one, wait, you could just be an "e" on by lol). The wrong you did was lock her up, to keep her to yourself? That last line is moving. tyfs I enjoyed the read.

Posted 1 Month Ago

Dave Brown

1 Month Ago

Sometimes they seem like that butterfly, beauty just passing on by
thanks for taking the time
Whatever you did, it must have been really bad. Otherwise, i would probably write her off as a snooty b***h.

Posted 1 Month Ago

Dave Brown

1 Month Ago

you'll have to guess JtheB

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2 Reviews
Added on May 5, 2021
Last Updated on May 9, 2021

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Dave Brown
Dave Brown

gabriola island, BC - British Columbia, Canada

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