Dinner for Two

The island path had been overgrown

As they walked up from the pier,

A rickety wooden landing stage

With a sunken boat, quite near,

But the vines and trellises overhung

On the pathway to the house:

‘Your friend’s not much of a gardener,’

Said Jack, to his new-wed spouse.

 

But Caitlin shrugged, and she smiled at him,

‘Once there, you’ll find he’s a dear,

He bought the island a year ago,

There’s plenty to do out here!’

But Michael Morris was on the porch

As they staggered up on the hour,

His eyes had sparkled on greeting them,

But the edge of his mouth was sour.

 

She greeted him with a downcast eye,

Tried not to look in his face,

The ravage of disappointment there

Of a man who had failed in his race,

She knew that she was the source of it,

She’d only needed a friend,

But Michael had wanted too much from her

And she’d turned to Jack, in the end.

 

The house was like a museum piece

And he ushered his guests around,

‘It was owned by a taxidermist, so

The animals here abound!’

There were elks and bears and tiger heads

And birds, a wolf or so,

Even a couple of shrunken heads

From the wilds of Borneo!

 

He called to the chef to greet them both,

A hulking Blackamoor,

Complete with a beard and turban, he

Just stood at the kitchen door,

He grinned and nodded, and flashed his teeth,

And towered over them all,

‘He came with the house, I kept him on,

He’s almost seven feet tall!’

 

There were several hours to waste before

The dinner was due to be served,

So Caitlin went to her room to change

Though Jack was a little un-nerved.

‘I’ll fit you out with some jungle greens

And I’ll show you the island front,

We’ll take a couple of crossbows out,

The boars are ready to hunt!’

 

The island was only a mile across

And three, at a pinch, miles long,

They followed a path up the mountainside

Where very few men had gone,

‘The boars are snuffling up ahead!’

Jack looked, but he couldn’t see,

But heard the hiss as the crossbow sang

And the bolt pinned him hard to a tree.

 

The pain was such that he couldn’t shout,

Just hung, unable to move,

While Michael studied his rival, said:

‘You know that I didn’t approve;

You’ve taken the woman I wanted for me,

My dinner was only for two,

So I’ll be dining your wife tonight

While the boars will dine on you!’

 

He left, and wandered back to the house,

No hurry, taking his time,

He knew that Ali was up to his eyes

In preparing the meal to dine,

He changed, went into the dining room,

Said grace - ‘Are we ready, or not?’

And savoured a portion of Caitlin’s shanks

As her head shrunk down in a pot!

 

David Lewis Paget

Reviews

[Patricia B. Hepler]

'His eyes had sparkled on greeting them,
But the edge of his mouth was sour.'
..'But heard the hiss as the crossbow sang
And the bolt pinned him hard to a tree.'

So, just where DID those other shrunken heads (from Borneo??) come from?
Deliciously scary ;) pat

[ewest1220]

Quite twisted. I like this a lot very well done!

[Dean Kuch®]

Hah, priceless as always David! That wicked, wicked Michael...;)